You may have noticed the complete lack of posts for one of my favorite shows...L&O:SVU and probably wondered why I wasn't showing them any love. The reason is simple; it is hard to talk about something which you once loved so unconditionally now that it's completely gone to shit. L&O:SVU was my favorite of the L&O series (with CI coming in a very close second; Robert Goren I fucking HEART you), but over the last few years it has Jumped the Shark (Rapper-eating tigers and Gibbons in basketballs...Jesus Christ it even hurt to just type that) However, because I am so invested in all of the main characters (will Liv ever find I nice man who appreciate her and will love her just as she is? Will Ellitot ever grow a pair and leave his shrew of a wife or at least use a condom so they can stop popping out band-aid babies?) I come back every season even after all of the contrived fuckery that they have given me.
Then came last season's finale and I vowed 'no more, no fucking more'. I was done. That episode was so badly written, so contrived, it seems as though the pot weasels and TPTB just threw their hands up and said 'We give up let's just throw as many cliches, twists, turns, kill off one of our most popular and hottest supporting characters, 'injure' one of our main characters and see if our stupid but loyal viewers will buy it!' and cobbled that epi together.
Okay, none of us liked that Forensic guy Stuckey from his first time on screen and we all knew that Stabler despised him and that he made no effort to hide his dislike from Stuckey, so we really weren't surprised when all the drama (I refuse to recap it, watching it once was enough for my brain) went down. The killing off of one of the hottest recurring characters Forensics Lab guy Ryan O'Halloran? WTF ? Shame on you! The fact that the writers wanted us to believe that Liv couldn't take out this stupid kid in 2.3 seconds but had to go through the whole 'I hate my partner, but let me tongue you' ploy to disarm him??? Foul! Although her slapping the shit out of El had some soft-core BDSM overtones and me likey. Killing off Emily Fucking Gilmore?? You Swine! The episode ended and we just sat and looked at each other...shellshocked...what a complete and utter clusterfuck! So that night, all 12 of us at the viewing party in Chelsea decided en masse that we were over SVU and we would not be coming back for season 11.
Fate, however, had different plans for us. Since none of us had deprogrammed SVU, our DVRs and TiVos recorded the season premier. Which we all watched grudgingly three days later. There was no mention of O'Halloran's murder, Stuckey's psychotic break and attempted murder of Elliott 'I Need To Be Shirtless More Often' Stabler. It's like it didn't happen. Is this like that whole season of Dallas that didn't happen because Pam was dreaming everything? I personally was waiting for a shot of Forensics guy O'Halloran soaping up in the shower at Olivia's apartment. WTF??
So then we see the introduction of this new EADA, who from the minute we saw her, we said 'What the Fuck has Christine Lahti been doing to her face??? Step away from the botox lady!' and then OT said, 'she's gonna be a ball-busting bitch who's gonna alienate the squad and it ain't gonna end well for her'. So the pool began as to how she would be phased out when the pot weasels and TPTB realized that immediate feedback from the fans (that shitstorm on Twitter) would be that we HATED HER a la Kim Graylik her predecessor. I had $100 for Episode 8 where she would be strangled to death by a perp who didn't like her 'tude as Liv and El sat back and let her do their job because she said that they were incompetent and she could do it better.
Never in a million years could any of us have predicted the fuckery that was last week's episode...her own incompetence and weakness is what did her in! She tries to hit on El, she tries to hit on Liv. She tells Cap'n Cragen that acoholism is not a disease and then BOOYAH!! Epic meltdown and reputation lost.Christine, did you need the money that badly??? Can't you play the new Cardio-Thoracic Superstar Surgeon on Grey's Anatomy?? You would be perfect on that show!
The sad thing is I can't figure out if her acting truly sucked, or if that's how the character was purposely written in which case she gave a nuanced, critically-acclaimed performance. Gah! Also, please get Alex Cabot back stat form 'Albany'...or is she still 'stuck in traffic'? What.The.Fuck.
My brain hurts...L&O SVU...I Fucking Quit You.
Dazz
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