Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Conan and...TBS? Uh...Ok.
So...Conan and... TBS? What The Fuck? Yah, didn't see that partnership coming.
Anyhoodle...bring it on Conando, I miss you and I'll watch you on that channel that I hardly ever watch but which I will now favorite in anticipation of your show's debut in November.
Does anyone else see the fucked up irony/reverse serendipity that Conan's new 11p.m. show on TBS will be bumping George Lopez's show to midnight?
Somewhere the Chin is having a snicker.
Team Conando, Bitches!
Ta,
Dazz
Monday, November 16, 2009
You Were Abducted - Of Course You Need Crepes
Thoughts:
Walter's fascination with brains...uh yeah.
Astrid is not as squicked out about this Fringe stuff as she used to be.
Walter and Peter's Uterus-Noise Teddy Bear...say it with me...Awwwwww
Broyles goin' rogue and getting shot...that man is sexy and stoic. No CHJ this epi.
Nina - this bitch has the uncanny ability to switch emotional states like nobody's business. One minute she's gentle, encouraging and cajoling with Walter. The next she's cold and calculating when emailing 'Willem' about the collateral damage of one of their experiments or lying directly to the FBI agents' faces. She's lying to Broyles too, but I still say they're making the beast with two backs with aewsome CHJs!
BTW, we all know that they're not shutting down that 'Mind Control' experiment just because the kid with the Pez dispenser fucked up, made contact with his 'Mom' and killed a bunch a people.
Holy Fuck...how many 'Tylers' are there? It looked like at least 10 in the room where the doc was taking the sedated 'Tyler' at the end - I'm calling it the Hall O' Tylers!
I agree with walter...you were abducted...of course you need crepes!
Peter is fuckhawt!
Promo for next epi...There is more than one of everything???!!!! I can't fucking wait!
This fucking show pwns me!!!
Dazz
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Paging Dr. McQuiver

I have continued watching Grey's Anatomy for one reason and one reason only, Dr. Jackson Avery...known to me as Dr. McQuiver. Why? Cuz he makes muh lady parts fucking quiver whenever he's onscreen! Unnff! Swoon. Le Sigh.
The actor who plays him is Jesse Williams and he fucking owns every scene he's been in from his first episode. His eyes, the set of his lips...UUNNFFF! He's a skilled and subtle actor and seems to have seamlessly fit in with the rest of the cast. Yes, I know that I was totally against the whole SG/MW merger, but if it means more of Dr. McQuiver; I'll just have to deal with it. I like that he and Alex hate each other, you know why? Cuz he is how Alex used to be; hot and hungry. So ambitious that he would do anything to get ahead and stand out from his colleagues. That was the Alex I loved, not this bloated pussy-whipped, neutered specimen that we've been forced to endure for the past 2 seasons.
I hope that Dr. McQuiver will be a permanent addition to the SG staff, because he brings the quivers in every scene and you know me, I do enjoy the quivers.
Dazz
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Christine Lahti...WTF???!!!
Then came last season's finale and I vowed 'no more, no fucking more'. I was done. That episode was so badly written, so contrived, it seems as though the pot weasels and TPTB just threw their hands up and said 'We give up let's just throw as many cliches, twists, turns, kill off one of our most popular and hottest supporting characters, 'injure' one of our main characters and see if our stupid but loyal viewers will buy it!' and cobbled that epi together.
Okay, none of us liked that Forensic guy Stuckey from his first time on screen and we all knew that Stabler despised him and that he made no effort to hide his dislike from Stuckey, so we really weren't surprised when all the drama (I refuse to recap it, watching it once was enough for my brain) went down. The killing off of one of the hottest recurring characters Forensics Lab guy Ryan O'Halloran? WTF ? Shame on you! The fact that the writers wanted us to believe that Liv couldn't take out this stupid kid in 2.3 seconds but had to go through the whole 'I hate my partner, but let me tongue you' ploy to disarm him??? Foul! Although her slapping the shit out of El had some soft-core BDSM overtones and me likey. Killing off Emily Fucking Gilmore?? You Swine! The episode ended and we just sat and looked at each other...shellshocked...what a complete and utter clusterfuck! So that night, all 12 of us at the viewing party in Chelsea decided en masse that we were over SVU and we would not be coming back for season 11.
Fate, however, had different plans for us. Since none of us had deprogrammed SVU, our DVRs and TiVos recorded the season premier. Which we all watched grudgingly three days later. There was no mention of O'Halloran's murder, Stuckey's psychotic break and attempted murder of Elliott 'I Need To Be Shirtless More Often' Stabler. It's like it didn't happen. Is this like that whole season of Dallas that didn't happen because Pam was dreaming everything? I personally was waiting for a shot of Forensics guy O'Halloran soaping up in the shower at Olivia's apartment. WTF??
So then we see the introduction of this new EADA, who from the minute we saw her, we said 'What the Fuck has Christine Lahti been doing to her face??? Step away from the botox lady!' and then OT said, 'she's gonna be a ball-busting bitch who's gonna alienate the squad and it ain't gonna end well for her'. So the pool began as to how she would be phased out when the pot weasels and TPTB realized that immediate feedback from the fans (that shitstorm on Twitter) would be that we HATED HER a la Kim Graylik her predecessor. I had $100 for Episode 8 where she would be strangled to death by a perp who didn't like her 'tude as Liv and El sat back and let her do their job because she said that they were incompetent and she could do it better.
Never in a million years could any of us have predicted the fuckery that was last week's episode...her own incompetence and weakness is what did her in! She tries to hit on El, she tries to hit on Liv. She tells Cap'n Cragen that acoholism is not a disease and then BOOYAH!! Epic meltdown and reputation lost.Christine, did you need the money that badly??? Can't you play the new Cardio-Thoracic Superstar Surgeon on Grey's Anatomy?? You would be perfect on that show!
The sad thing is I can't figure out if her acting truly sucked, or if that's how the character was purposely written in which case she gave a nuanced, critically-acclaimed performance. Gah! Also, please get Alex Cabot back stat form 'Albany'...or is she still 'stuck in traffic'? What.The.Fuck.
My brain hurts...L&O SVU...I Fucking Quit You.
Dazz
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Fringe - I'm Under Its Control and I am So Fucking Addicted!!!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Chris O'Donnell You Are Officially Forgiven
I even hold grudges against celebrities for the perceived wrongs they have wrought against me. See below examples:
Prince - changing your name to that fucking symbol and then getting mad when we blessed you with the moniker TAFKAP (The Artist Formerly Known As Prince). You were forgiven when you reinvented yourself, regained your name and busted out the assless, lace-embellished yellow pantsuit.
Milli Vanilli - grudge still in effect. You frauds, I will never forgive you. I felt bad when Rob died, but I can never forget the fact that you made me love 'Girl You Know It's True' and then ripped my heart in two when it was revealed that that musical genius was not you.
Enrique Iglesias - The Removal Of The Mole. Nuff said.
James Patterson - For allowing the casting of Morgan Freeman as Alex Cross. Fuckery! My sister and I had been reading those Alex Cross novels and salivating over the sexy that was described and then when we heard that they had cast Morgan Fucking Freeman...fuck we didn't eat or sleep for days amid the wailing and the gnashing of teeth. Now I know a lot of you reading this are probably like Morgan Freeman is an excellent actor and he brought a lot to the role and besides James Patterson probably didn't have any say over the casting. Yeah yeah yeah Morgan Freeman is a phenomenal actor; I don't dispute that. What I have a problem with is that when you read the book and a character is described a certain way, that's how you see them in your head as you read , when you get inside the character. I'm picturing a tall beautiful brother, a sexy, suave, sensuous intellectual and you give me Morgan Fucking Freeman??? Uh, does not compute. Also, as the owner of the Alex Cross novels you bet your ass James Patterson had a say in the casting; what the fuck was he thinking giving a thumbs up to Freeman??? It's akin to casting Shia LaBeouf as Edward Cullen! See, I saw you all throw up in your mouths at that. It just does not compute!
Tom Clancy- For allowing the casting of Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan in the Sum Of All Fears. What.The.Fuck???!!! Alec Baldwin as Jack Ryan? Fuck Yes; the Hunt For Red October is the best of the Jack Ryan films and easily one of my favorite movies. Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan? Hells Yeah, he kicked ass in Patriot Games against Sean Bean (one of the most under-rated actors ever, IMO). I don't think that we would ever have seen the Jason Bourne novels on screen if not for the Jack Ryan movies. But Ben Fucking Affleck as Jack Ryan?? What bet did somebody lose that this fuckery was allowed? See above point on James Patterson/Alex Cross.
But perhaps the biggest most extreme grudge that I have been holding for the past...wait for it...TWELVE YEARS is against Chris O'Donnell for his part in the FUCKERY that was Batman&Robin. As a fan of Batman from back in the day watching the Adam West Burt Ward TV Series and collecting the comics, watching the characters brought to life on the big screen was nerve wracking, I mean, the actors playing Batman ran the gamut, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Cloon...I can't even finish typing that it gives me hives just thinking about him in that role. The movie was awful, the plot rubbish, the acting horrendous, the costumes ridiculously anatomically improbable and Chris looked embarrassed at his own behavior. Have you ever been to a movie when you cringed and felt bad for every actor as they played their roles? That's how I felt; Arnold Schwarzenegger, George You Know Who, Chris, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, I cringed as each of them delivered some of the cheesiest, tritest drivel ever uttered. Not even Jim Carrey's Riddler could have saved this movie. This movie was so bad that it took them EIGHT FUCKING YEARS to bring the franchise back to its former glory with Batman Begins.
So, I held that grudge against Chris all these years. He started redeeming himself when he played 'McVet' on S2 and S3 of Grey's Anatomy and delivered one of the most dramatic romantic lines of all time to Mer about Der; "He'll break your heart again, and when he does, I won't be here". How's that for a character's exit line?? Bravo.
It wasn't until last night's episode of NCIS:Los Angeles that I completely absolved him of all things B&R related. This character that he plays G. Callen is one of the most subtly nuanced characters I have seen on Network TV in a long time. There is so much roiling around under his surface and I wait with bated breath each week to learn everything there is to know. First off, he's an orphan. He has no official first name; it's just a letter 'G'. Are you with me so far? He may have gotten involved with gangs in his youth before going into the service. He is a lone wolf, highly independent and a chameleon. What is endearing is that every week we get another snippet into his psyche, we see a little bit of who makes up Callen. Last week's epi where he told Heddy that he doesn't know what the G stands for that it was just G, was so poignant and sad; even Heddy felt it. She keeps dropping gems to him to make him see his 'situation' as a positive and not negative. We never pity him, we empathize with him. We see his close friendship with Sam as the older brother/best friend who he knows will ALWAYS have his back.
This week Nate the Psychologist (The Weakest Link on this show, can we Auf him NOW, please?) kept going on and on with his wannabe profile of their target and all of the negatives he was mentioning for the target were things that G had experienced and he kept throwing Callen the side-eye as he was talking like he was saying 'yeah, I'm talking about you Callen'. Yeah, Nate, as Callen and Sam summarized, ya got 'diddly squat'.
So, Chris because of this subtle, redeeming character of G. Callen, you are officially forgiven and we shall never again speak of your outlandishly laughable, anatomically ridiculous codpiece in that godawful dreck known as Batman&Robin.
Dazz
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Grey's Anatomy Is On Life Support
Things I liked:
I actually have to think hard about this as nothing immediately jumped out at me.
George O'Malley is dead. Yeah, I said it and you know I'm right.
Izzie losing the wig. It was stupid and looked like shit and was fooling no-one.
Cristina and Owen making progress in therapy and their relationship; they both deserve some happiness.
Things I loathed:
The Seattle Grace/Mercy West Hospital Merger. I guess Shonda realized that she had painted herself into a corner and just decided to bring the drama with a whole new major story-line that would be 'ripped from the headlines'; layoffs, economic crisis, yadda yadda yadda. Is it bad that I really don't care? Except for the fact that we lost some good people (the interns and that one nurse who slept with Alex back in the day) I could give a shit about this story arc. Michael K. was right, you know IN THIS ECONOMY...All we need now is a rich, charismatic Jewish Financier to embezzle all of the Doctors' money and their 401Ks. Shonda, stick to writing for your medical show and let the L&O writers continue to write their 'ripped from the headlines' fare; it works for them. For you not so much. Contrived, much?
Derek Shepherd/Richard Webber potential coup story-line. FAIL; neither of them is very good at the office politics. The one good thing about this whole story was seeing Mitch Pilleggi (Agent Skinner from the X-Files), good to see him doing actual work instead of doing cheesy ass voice-overs for a show where the masked magician outs his own tricks and then himself.
Miranda Bailey in Peeds...does not compute; bring back the Nazi.
Arizona. Please get rid of this 'diarrhea of the mouth, is my girlfriend a lesbian, is my girlfriend my girlfriend' horribly acted character.
Callie's whole story arc. She as a whiny, indecisive, insecure lesbian is so embarrassingly cliche and cringe-worthy. Where is the strong woman of the past? Her character has been the most poorly written one for a few seasons now.
Mer/Der 'post-it wedding, we are fucking like newlyweds' storyline. It sucked, still sucks and will continue to suck.
Lexipedia. Mark Sloane can do better; he deserves better. Callie is bi-sexual; let's get her back with Mark, STAT!
The Thatcher/liver transplant storyline; don't care about him but way to 'open the door' to a forced relationship between Mer and her father. *Eye-roll*
The cut interns...which one was Megan, the rotund Hispanic one? Who the hell knew that she was married to the 'constantly-startled' intern and that they are about to have a kid? Sucks for them.
Callie's tantrum and defection to Mercy West which has now been merged with Seattle Grace and now the Chief gave her her old job back story arc...totally PATHETIC and uh POINTLESS!
Owen letting himself be drawn in by Izzie's 'everybody is a potential cancer miracle like me' unrealistic, decision not based in medicine, enthusiasm shtick. Cringe-worthy...and after the patient dies (depriving him and his fiancee and family months of togetherness) she tells the fiancee to check the mouth-guard container where she will find the ring that he was about to propose to her with which will undoubtedly make her even more mournful and depressed and more prone to committing suicide to be with her love. Yeah, so thanks for that Iz and shame on you Owen for agreeing to do the surgery against your better judgment just because you pity Izzie.
Cristina and the Peeds rotation. FAIL. Embarrassing. At this point I want the entire Peeds rotation off the fucking show; get rid of Arizona. I am willing to invoke the SoDC; there are no sick kids, so a Peeds unit is therefore not needed. Problem Fucking solved!
The hysterical laughing at George's funeral. So after the 'confirmation by freckle-analysis' that Lexie is an idiot and John Doe was definitely O'Malley, they have George's funeral where the Final Four cackle like hyenas at his death, mode of death etc. I understand that grief brings out weird behavior, but even I am not a heartless bitch and could totally see that this was a not so subtle swipe at Totally Retarded Knight by Shonda. Methinks that TRK will be the one laughing after Grey's gets the axe.
Alex/Izzie...it was sweet when she was at death's door but it is irritating now. The bear thing was funny though. I was rooting for the bear.
The Mark/Callie 'hallway of inappropriateness'. I love this close relationship that the ex-fuck buddies have and if it annoys Lexipedia, then I am all for it. Carry On.
The approaching Battle Royale between the residents and attendings of Seattle Grace and Mercy West. Somehow I know they're going to drag that shit out for most of the season. Maybe Arizona will lose out to the far more superior, less talkative bizarro Mercy West version? One can only hope.
Wait A Minute..hold the fucking phone. How the fuck did the Chief get an okay from the Board for the merger between Seattle Grace and Mercy West when the same Board was preparing to oust him in a coup for Der to take over?? Invoke the SoDC. Nuff said.
Is KH fucking Shonda?? This is the only explanation as to why the most obnoxious actress on that show continues to get the choiciest, meatiest, most though-provoking, empathetic, tear-inducing story-arcs!! As much as I dislike KH as the person she comes across as being in the media (ungrateful, entitled, bitchy, selfish, whiny and deluded) she acts the hell out of the material she's given even when it's shittily written. Was she right when she said that she was given shit material to act with in the past? YES! I mean for Christ's sake they had her perform mouth to mouth on a fucking deer and loudly and quite enthusiastically fuck her dead ex-fiance!! She had to have fallen out of favor hard with Shonda to have that storyline foisted upon her. Was she right for airing her feelings in public, criticizing the writers and removing her name for Emmy consideration? NO! Those moves will come back to bite you in the ass Katie. Remember you still hold the record of having the lowest grossing movie IN HISTORY! Despite all of the controversies, though, she is still one of the better actresses on the show (Bailey and Cristina are the best by far) and watching her every week, you cannot help but be invested in Izzie's storylines even if I DID want the bear to eat her.
BTW, Alex is the Weakest Link (That show was the birthplace of snark, Anne Robinson, I bow to Thee) of The Final Four. His acting is horrible and he is no longer hawt.
I miss Dr. Preston Burke. Yes, I fucking said it. I can't help but think that if he were still around that this show would be more classy, less contrived (post-it wedding...SERIOUSLY??!) and less meh.
This show is no longer 'Must-See TV' for me; it has been relegated to 'record to DVR to watch at a later date when I'm bored' status. Oh how the mighty have fallen. This show is definitely on life support and I see the next season being its last before ABC cancels it.
Dazz
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Pacey Is 'One Of Them'!?
Let me just start by saying that for me this show absolutely fills the void left by the end of the X-Files and The Outer Limits! It is smart, witty, self-deprecating and entertaining as all hell.
I like the Mercury-infused Shapeshifters. Very Terminator-y. But look, a shot to the head will totally kill the host body! So can't Walter create a Mercury detector to aid the Team in weeding out these Metal spies? I mean since Mercury is a diamagnetic (it will be repulsed) can't they just create a discreet mercury-detector-meter?
Parallel Universe Charlie is dead. That brings The Sads. I liked the Charlie character; good or evil. Bye bye Kirk Acevedo. Is it horrible that I was feeling sorry for him as he scarfed down his mercury and glass combo in the car?
Walter and his damn (unethical but well meaning) experiments! Giving subjects massive amounts of hallucinogens so that they can 'see' people from another dimension after they trip the hell out? Check! Giving a subject pureed flatworms (wait for the strawberries next time Olivia)to stimulate and recall their memories? Check!
Ok, let's talk about those worms - the concept of the original experiment was that the worms that ingested the pureed worms recalled their (the pureed worms') memories. Therefore doesn't it stand to reason that Olivia would recall the pureed worms' memories NOT her own? Hmmm...ok invoking the 'Suspension Of Disbelief' clause.(hereafter referred to as the SoDC)
All epi I kept giggling and muttering 'Headhunter'. I mean seriously, they were breaking into Cryogenic labs looking for a specific head with the omega like symbol on the back of its head. That's the ultimate Headhunter*snicker*. Plus I was also thinking 'supposed one of those callously discarded frozen heads was Ted Williams? Do they have tracking devices to find the heads in case they were stolen like this?
So did anyone else get the whole mark of the beast symbolism? Yeah it wasn't that subtle. Also, I like that the symbol of the Leader of the First Wave is like an Omega - The Alpha (First) and the Omerga (Last?) PS Omega-guy is not cute... all potential beasts/anti-christs are supposed to be good-looking and charming; that's how they hook you. I guess it's okay though cause he totally looks like Voldemort. Evil but with a touch of 'doable' - cmon, you saw the shot of him on Platform 9 &3/4 in Armani, you would so fucking hit that.
Leonard Nimoy as William (or Willem) is fucking creepy...and Olivia (Livvy) is right not to completely trust him. There is so much more that he hasn't told her. I mean why not just email her and tell her all the shit that will go down if she totally fucks up her role as the Gatekeeper?
If we trust the woman who Walter hopped up on LSD, then she all but confirmed my theory of Peter being from the Parallel Universe when she saw him 'glow'. I prefer to think of it as an 'aura' cause you know Joshua is just heavenly and totally dreamy. Le Sigh...Dawson's Creek Flashback...please give me a moment...Okay, I'm back. So if Pacey, I mean Peter is really from the Parallel Universe, how is he being powered? Is he not a part of the First Wave? We haven't seen him ingesting mercury and christ we know he likes cheeseburgers! Plus he doesn't have a 'shifting device'. I'm so dying to find out Peter's back story. Also, this glow thing just made me wonder if one of the Fringe writers isn't a closeted Twi Hard; 'Squee I have an idea...let's make Peter sparkle in the sun!'. Stephenie Meyer is that you?!!
So, I want to trust Nina Sharp...but there's just something holding me back. Now that Charlie has been revealed as the shapeshifter, will Olivia truly trust Nina going forward?
Will Walter's LSD shapeshifter detector lady ever tell him about Peter's aura? Will she be part of the Team going forward. BTW, I don't trust her either. Looks like she can't wait for Walter to do her and methinks Walter is willing as long as it can be worked around his bus schedule.
What happened to the NY FBI Agent Jessup from the premiere?? I guess she was brought in to eventually take Charlie's place?
Colonel/Special Agent Philip Broyles is totally bringing the sexy every episode. I love how he remains stoic, unflappable and unphased while he says some of the cheesiest dialog every week. I present to you: "Why are shapeshifting soldiers from another universe stealing frozen heads?" Bravo Sir. Disbelief Suspended indeed. I still can't help but think of him and Nina Sharp and those awesome HJs she has to be giving him! *Snicker*
Astrid - 'Walter Bishop Deli'. Fucking. Hilarious. BTW, what kind of FBI agents are they that none of them could determine that the spinning rendered image on the Massive Dynamic FTP server was Charlie?
Until next epi...remember lovvies, Physics Is A Bitch! I am so getting that on a t-shirt!
Dazz
Friday, October 2, 2009
Criminal Minds Season Premiere
Yes, the case about the Dr. and his son was interesting; not dramatic and I really wasn't too invested in it, ya know? I think that was the point anyway.
So Emily, let's talk, we got confirmation (subtle though it may have been) about what we all suspected from past seasons, you have a dilemma; Aaron or Derek? You have a slow burn for both of them. The scenes with you at Hotch's bedside (offering your presence as physical comfort) and then at the end seeking to comfort/reassure Derek (with your words and body language). Oh, to be you what a choice you have they are both very fine specimen of man. Aaron - brooding latent sexuality. Derek, smoking hot, burning sexuality. Uh...what the hell was I saying again?? Right, onwards.
The main story here is Hotch and the battle of wills with Foyet. Let me just say it right now. Hotch has balls of steel; he didn't flinch when Foyet shot at him, his eyes didn't even blink! Let me also reiterate, Foyet is one crazy-assed psycho! Here's an important question. Does anyone else besides me think that Hotch was raped or in some other way violated/ assaulted by Foyet? Cause that whole 'let me show you my scars' and then 'the knife being a substitute for sexual intercourse by someone who is impotent' speeches freaked me to hell out and made me think that he did something sexual to Hotch. I mean there was no need for him to take his shirt off and straddle Hotch to show him the scars, right? Then when he was talking about the impotence thing, he mentioned that Hotch might want to change his profile now. Was that because he was going to prove to Hotch that he was NOT impotent by raping him? Or was it that he was hard as he was straddling Hotch and Hotch would therefore be able to confirm that Foyet was NOT impotent. Either way, something happened that Hotch ain't telling. What an ordeal. I wonder if we will continue to see flashbacks of what happened after the stabbing and before he landed in the hospital.
I have one peeve/nitpick. I thought that Foyet was so injured by his (self inflicted) stab wounds that he had limited range of motion. How then was he able to immobilize Hotch so quickly after Hotch attacked him and knocked away his gun? Or was the painful range of motion a part of his ruse to make it believable that he was attacked by the Unsub and therefore rule him out as the actual Unsub? He did say something about making sure that he didn't do serious harm when stabbing himself so many times. Yeesh, like I said Foyet is fucking Cuh-Ray-Zee!!!!
The scene with Hotch saying goodbye to Jack at the hospital was very sad and what he told Rossi at the end is scary; if Foyet stops killing for another 10 years just to torture Hotch, what will Jack remember about his Dad? Guh, cue the waterworks at that.
Nice epi, but I hope they bring Foyet out to play again soon, he is oh so scary, but he also brings the drama.
Good on your Derek for not letting Foyet get to you and make you lose your nerve and fall apart with the guilt about your 'creds'.
To Dr. Sex Kitten, I love your new hair and I hope you get better soon. Sucks about the 'death by Cop' end to the standoff with the father and you getting shot in the process.
I wonder if they're going to have Emily and Hotch start a relationship under the guise of her 'helping him to heal'.*Snicker*
Will Hotch continue to lie that he doesn't remember anything after the first stab wound? BTW, Rossi ain't buying that Hotch.
Good to have the show back.
Dazz
New FanFic Story for CSI:NY Published!
My Muse left me for my other stories, but this idea came to me last night and I just had to get it out and published.
Enjoy,
Dazz
Thursday, October 1, 2009
CSI:NY Season Premiere - Can You Say 'Cop-Out'?
Let me start of on a totally shallow and superficial note; everyone was looking great this epi! Nice and 'refreshed' if you know I mean *wink wink* *cough Stella and Mac cough*.They must have a new wardrobe person as well, because the clothing is a lot younger and hipper. Seeing Mac in his V-neck wool/cashmere sweater had me drooling for the first half of the epi. Flack, my secret husband, you are scrumptious in blue!
So Danny was wounded and is temporarily paralyzed. Um...okay I totally lost out in that pool, I thought for sure he was 'off-limits' ya know because of the new baby. Speaking of Danny, let's talk about his wife Lindsay. Now, I have nevah been a Lindsay fan, can't stand her, but dammit the way she was reassuring Danny and comforting him was just beautiful and touching. The whole speech about her bringing her umbrella because they said there was a 10% chance of rain and comparing that to the 10% chance of Danny walking again was poignant and it made me a little teary-eyed. Of course when it started raining at the end and Danny moves his foot, well,, yeah cue the full on water-works.
Adam and Stella??? What.The.Fuck? I know that in times of trauma we turn to those closest to us for comfort and solace, but damn it all to hell, as someone who is an ardent Stella/Sheldon shipper, I call BS on the Adam/Stella hook-up. Their little speech about it being great but never to be repeated brought the LOLz, who hasn't given that exact speech at some point in their career to a colleague you fucked but shouldn't have (office Christmas party 2004). Are we to believe that this randomly introduced Crime Scene Cleaner girl is to be a not so subtle new love interest for Adam? I hope not, that was as subtle as a brick and I did not like her at all.
Donald Flack. I love him. I am worried for him, because we know that he is back too soon after Jess' death. I can already see that he will resort to self-destructive behaviour to deal with Jess' death; random sexual hook-ups (who was the chick he hugged in the bar?), excessive drinking...yeah I can see TPTB dragging that shit out. I hope so because Eddie Cahill needs a great story-line to show his acting range. Flack just seems too well-adjusted for a man that lost the love of his life a month ago.
Mac Taylor. I love him. He's a great leader, but like Stella said, you're part of a Team; you lead said Team and should therefore act accordingly; no more cowboy antics for you darling.
Sid, I had you down as being expendable and getting killed off, but I am happy that you are still there in the morgue, buddy.
Sheldon Hawks. Yum. I love him and goddamn TPTB for not letting you have a comfort fuck with Stella. That's alright, I'll just re-read the FanFic I wrote for the two of you.
All in all it was an okay episode, definitely not the caliber one would expect for a season premiere; I can't believe I waited all summer for this lame-ass 'resolution' to a good season finale. Meh.
Dazz
Monday, September 21, 2009
Fringe - The Return Of Excellent TV!
I watched this show from it's first episode for one reason and one reason only- Pacey - I mean Joshua Jackson! What? I'm a child of the 90s, what can I say. I grew up watching The Twilight Zone, The X-Files and The Outer Limits and Fringe is like a happy smorgasbord of all three of these shows.
I watched the entire first season of Fringe and was thoroughly intrigued, impressed, scared out of my freaking mind and completely tuned in! I have to admit that I could not stand Olivia the first few epis, but finally I 'got' her. Love Walter, he's the epitome of the 'mad scientist'. There is so much we don't know about Peter, but at heart he is loyal, compassionate, stubborn, smart and sexy as all hell! Broyles is scheming, duplictious, deceitful but dammit he is doing all he can to protect us!
So, let's talk about the Season 2 premiere - Holy Shit!
The things I loved:
Homage to the X-Files! If you blinked you missed the clip on the TV showing our favorite X investigators. Fox Mulder, I miss you. Le sigh.
Second homage to the X-Files is when the Senator mentioned it and Fringe in the same breath at the Senate Committee hearings as divisions operating at great expense but getting little to no results.
We can connect to a Parallel Universe using a very old 'two-way' manual typewriter (hey, like Peter says, nothing is too weird to believe anymore).
The Shapeshifter machine?? WTF? Yes, please! Where can I get my own?
The Charlie is now a Parallel Universer twist! I so called this! As soon as Charlie went down to the basement I said to the BF, 'Fuck, the Shapeshifter's gonna get Charlie!' Now let's see how long it takes before Olivia realizes that he is a poseur! Did anyone else think that basement scene was very X-Files?
The subtle nuances of the Nina Sharp/Philip Broyles dynamic; who works for whom? Who calls the shots?
I had two orgasms watching this show:
1. Colonel/Special Agent Philip Broyles' speech at the Senate Committee's inquiry into Fringe Division. Swoon.
2. Peter's speech at the end about them (Fringe Division) being in charge now. Swoon.
Questions:
Is Peter from the Parallel Universe with the real Peter having died when he was younger (the grave which Walter visited at the end of last season)?
Why is Agent Jessup so interested in Fringe Division and why is she connecting the cases to the Bible? I swear if this turns into some sort of DaVinci Code-esque thing I will lose my shit!
Who gave Agent Jessup the password to access Fringe Division files?
Nina Sharp and Colonel/Special Agent Philip Broyles?? There was a subtle hint of this last season and me likey! He's a lovah and a fighter! She must give him awesome HJs with her cybernetic hand! *Snicker*
Is Colonel/Special Agent Philip Broyles a rogue Parallel Universer?
What is hidden and where is it hidden? C'mon Walter, create some electro-shock thingey to jog Olivia's memory!
Is Olivia/Olive a Parallel Universer, or was she one of the subjects that Walter and Bell got to 'see' the Parallel Universe by administering the drug cocktail?
Are there more of these Selectric 251 manual typewriter portals?
Does Nina Sharp travel back and forth between the Current and Parallel Universe? Does William Bell?
Is the Parallel Universe older than the Current Universe? Is that why they are so technologically advanced?
Is that how William Bell made Massive Dynamic into the top global technology companies because of this (alien?) technology?
Is the Parallel Universe populated by an Alien Race?
Is there no war in the Parallel Universe? Is this why the WTC still exists?
What brought the LOLz:
When Olivia wakes up in the hospital and she starts screaming at Peter in Greek, I swear to God I screamed at my TV, 'Fuck, not another Maenad!' (Those of you who know how much I loathed the Maryann/Maenad character on True Blood will undoubtedly understand and empathize with my reaction)
Walter's child-like excitement at being allowed to ride in the back of the van with the body and then his utter dejection when Peter warns him to stay out of the medications.
That damn cow in Walter's Lab.
The fact that they are making Peter's birthday custard in the Lab.
Astrid mixing the batter while leaning in to see the body as it's being autopsied.
Hey Walter, I too, love custard and abhor Flan, I feel your pain!
The 'surprise' birthday party in the Lab for Peter; special invited guests Walter, Astrid and that damn cow.
Love this show. It doesn't take itself too seriously, but like the X-Files, the Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits, it makes you think 'Hmm, what if?' But that's why I love it and the term 'suspension of disbelief' was truly invented for this show.
Dazz
Friday, September 18, 2009
Season Premieres - What I Can't Wait To See!
Criminal Minds - The Reaper and Hotch: The Showdown, finally!
CSI:Miami - What the fuck Eric and where the hell did he go? Is this the end of the line for him and Calleigh?
CSI:New York - What.The.Fuck. They killed off Jess and now the entire Team gets shot at?? All I have to say is that they had better not kill off my faves (Mac, Don, Danny or Sheldon) the others I'm sorta meh on; they can go, they can stay, it won't make that much of a difference to me. I would be sad to see Sid go, but IN THIS ECONOMY, the shows are making cuts where they can so I feel that he and Adam are the most vulnerable. That said, I NEVAH trusted that Dunbrook guy and when he made that cryptic statement to Mac 'be safe' I took that shit as a threat and was yelling at Mac through the TV - 'Don't trust him, it's a threat! He's gonna try to kill you!!' Yeah, you don't wanna be in my living room when I'm watching one of my 'shows'.
Fringe - What.The.Fuck. The Season Finale was mind-boggling, I mean Olivia ended up in an office in the Twin Towers! Alternate Universe? Plus, more Peter, yum! Wait? Is it really Peter? Didn't we see Walter looking at Peter's grave? Is the Peter that we have come to love, Peter from the alternate universe?
NCIS - Whoa Tony and Ziva! Can't wait to see what happens next. Where does Ziva's loyalty lie? She is grieving and sometimes grief and logic don't go hand in hand. If the Season Finale proved anything it's that Tony and Ziva obviously have deep feelings for one another.
NCIS:LA - I liked the introduction to this new Team and there are two reasons for me to tune in - Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J! I am glad that the 'Gibbs' of this Team Louise Lombard is gone; she plays the same fucking character in everything I've seen her in and she never comes across as relatable or likable.
Grey's Anatomy - George is dead! I am so happy that his character is gone; they've been under utilizing him for a while now, so good riddance. Now if they could just get rid of Alex Karev I would be a happy camper. I like the Izzie storyline and have to really, really beat myself over the head to remember to separate the Izzie character from the shrew who plays her, Katherine HAGel. Can Cristina and Owen have some romantic scenes this season? I mean, Cris needs some good lovin', ya know for when she isn't suffering an ectopic pregnancy, getting speared by a stalactite icicle or getting the shit choked out of her by a sexy vet suffering from PTSD!
God, I love my DVR!
Dazz
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Divas? Not So Much.
That said, the performances were okay, if I had to say I would pick JHud, Kelly and Adele as having the best performances. Bottom line there was no one on tonight's roster who qualifies as a Diva...yet.
To Paula Abdul, if this was the best gig that you could get after AI, then I kinda feel bad for you. Somehow, I'm hoping that them letting you go and hiring Ellen as your replacement is still a big fake-out publicity stunt and you will be back in the judge's chair for the AI season premiere.
To Cheryl Crowe, how the fuck do you let Miley Fucking Cyrus out-sing you on your own fucking song? Travesty, I am so unchecking your songs on my IPod.
By far the best performance of the night: Kelly Clarkson and Melissa Etheridge! Their voices together; fucking amazing!
If I had to put this show together here's what my line-up would be:
P!nk
Alicia Keys
Bette Midler
Melissa Etheridge
Syleena Johnson (Google her, this chick has a wicked voice! Check out her CD The Voice)
Toni Braxton (she's still got the pipes!)
Celine Dion
Mary J. Blige
Dazz
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Rachel Zoe Project
Rachel - I Die! Buh-Nah-Nas! Her reactions to everything are so melodramatic and over-the-top enthusiastic that you cannot help but like this woman. She just needs to come clean and admit that she doesn't eat all that much and that she really is slowly but surely starving herself and get some help before she dies. Seriously, her hubby and the entire staff are really worried for her; she really is a skeleton now.
Rodger - That man has the best hair of a celeb husband EVAH! Mr. Tori Spelling only wishes he had that hair! Seriously, though, you can clearly see that he loves his wife even if he does get slightly exasperated at her spending habits. He is obviously very concerned with her skeletal frame; please get her some help soon, Rodg!
Brad - As long as he doesn't cry, I like him. What can I say, I have a thing for men in bowties (I'm looking at you Dr. Mallard!) . Brad went through a helluva baptism by fire from Taylor last season, but I think he's definitely come into his own this season, plus he's got another gay in his corner; Taylor's BFF Joey!
Joey - The make-up miracle worker. Love him. He reminds me of one of my BFFs; a sweet gay kitten on the outside, but a feisty Queen She-Tiger raging on the inside! He is really good for Rachel and I like how he and Brad are always there for Rachel, but are honest with her.
And finally, saving the best or worse for last...Taylor - Well what to say about Taylor? She's a bitch and I love her! she brings the drama, the snark, but most of all she knows her worth and will never fail to let her Boss know that she is irreplaceable! You gotta love the self confidence! Now Tay, tell Rachel how you feel about your position and demand what you want! Griping about it but not doing anything about your sitch leads to stagnation.
Love this quirky-ass make-shift family and their show!
Dazz
Monday, September 14, 2009
Godric and Eric
True Blood Season Finale Recap
What I liked:
Eric playing Yahtzee
No more Maenad/Maryann
No more Eggs
Hoyte
Sam (kinda) & Bill working together
Lafayette, you Grecian Goddess you!
What I hated:
Maryann/Eggs/Gods/Wedding - lamest, most over the top, far-fetched storyline EVAH! I am glad it is OVAH!
The Queen
Sookie's cousin Hadley (another miscast)
Observances:
Poor Tara-she is a lonely, unloved individual.
Was that Charlaine Harris in the bar talking to Sam?
Loving the potential mystery of who abducted Bill (Oh is Eric behind this?)
Loving the potential storyline with Sam's biological parents.
I already miss True Blood!
Dazz
Sunday, September 13, 2009
True Blood Season Finale Sunday!
My Wishes for tonight's episode:
More Eric
More Pam
More Lafayette
Is it tonight yet?
Dazz
Saturday, September 12, 2009
True Blood Season Finale
Are the accents horrible? Yes, but you get over it once you get into the storylines.
Was sexy Viking Eric's hair très horrible in the first season? Yes, but it's so much better now.
My loves:
Eric - What is there not to love??!! He is awesome and perfect and could bite me anytime.
Pam - The most underused character on the show, IMO and she has a wicked sense of humor.
Lafayette -'Tip your waitress!' is still the funniest fucking line I have heard uttered on tv in a long time.
Jessica - That girl is beautiful! She and Hoyte are so cute together ; but I feel for her having to become a virgin after every time they have sex.
Andy Bellefleur - He's an idiot but he's growing on me *hangs head in shame*
Godric - Holy hell that is one hot 2000 year old hot teenage vampire
Terry Bellefleur - He's just lovable, plus I liked him as Zach in Gilmore Girls
Jason Stackhouse - The guy is hot and dumb, nothing more needs to be said.
Lorena - That woman is a true bitch and we needed more of her!
My hates:
Bill. Yeah I said it. It could be because I know of his betrayal, but it could be the sucky acting as well and it drives me crazy the way he says 'SHUUCKEH', I mean how hard is it to say Sookie??!
The whole Maenad/Maryann storyline; enough already! I hope that shit ends tomorrow night for good!
Chow - The first time I saw him I was like WTF?? He was described as a hot sexy Asian vamp with Yakuza tats in the books so was Daniel Dae Kim or John Cho not available that they settled for this guy?? Hell I would have accepted Benjamin Bratt over this guy!
The Queen - This really pisses me off, because I ENJOYED this character in the books, but as soon as Evan Rachel Wood opened her mouth it was OVAH! She was so horrible and over the top and obviously completely misunderstood the character she was portraying.
Eggs - Enough; I hope he goes when Maryann goes.
Is it Sunday night yet?
Dazz