Dear Alan Ball,
I have been trying to not let this situation with your Eric Northman get to me; but I'm mad as hell and can't take it anymore!! Something has to be done about this tragic situation immediately and only you have the power to ensure that things are fixed pronto!
When I first heard that 'they' were going to be adapting Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries into a TV show, I was leery. Until I heard that you were going to be the one doing the adapting; that you would be the one in charge. Knowing that it was you, I was able to rest easy, confident that you would do the books justice and keep me, as a loyal visitor to Bon Temps, happy with the way you adapted all of the characters.
Right off the bat, I saw similarities and huge differences, but I was willing to take the ride with you and see where your fertile imagination would lead this viewer.
Never in a million years would I have believed that you would make a heinous mistake with my favorite character from the books - Eric Northman. Eric of all people! When we were first introduced to him on the show the first thing out of my mouth was 'what the fuck is up with his hair?' The second thing was 'what the fuck is up with his voice?' I don't remember much after that, except for the part where they hurried out of Fangtasia on some sort of silent hovercraft surfboard??? Think about that, you'll get what I'm saying.
Let's tackle the voice thing first as it is the lesser of the two evils, IMHO. When you read books, you form certain impressions of the characters in your mind, based off of their descriptions by the author. If there is one thing that Charlaine Harris is phenomenally talented at it is her detailed descriptions of her characters. So from reading her descriptions of Eric, I was expecting to see a Viking but dressed in today's clothing - predominantly jeans and T-Shirt (with the occasional black leather thrown in). I figured, how hard was that description to fuck up. Apparently it was very easy to fuck up because damn, you put the most vile wig/hair extensions on a sexy ass Swede with a near David Beckham proportion Kermit the Frog voice. Sweet Baby Jesus, it was like sensory overload for me.
So,the hair. Please fix this. Eric is supposed to be Viking. That means long (at least brushing the shoulder length), lustrous, beautiful, golden tresses. Not a weave that looks like it was worn by a ho on the stroll! Those tacky assed extensions are not gonna cut it sir.
As the series progressed, I could see that there were attempts to fix the hair situation, culminating in the tongue-in-cheek admission by a foil wearing Eric that Pam was giving him highlights. We all yelled Huzzah that you heard and were acting based on all of our rants on the HBO TB message boards!
So, I liked (not loved) the newer shorter slicked back do and was willing to give you a pass on not adhering to canon Eric. I mean FFS, you didn't kill off my fave Lafayette, so who the fuck was I to complain about unpretty hair?
So, I lay content until I saw promos for season 3 and Eric's hair was a very dark blond??? What.The.Fuck? Handle this immediately, the Viking MUST BE GOLDEN BLOND!
This is the Samson Hair Effect at work: the more you fuck with Eric's hair, the more turned off you are going to make your viewers. You do not want us picketing HBO demanding better Hair Quality for Bon Temps' sexy Viking Vampire Sheriff, do you? Seriously though, Eric's strength lies in his hair. Fuck with it and you emasculate him and kill the sexy.
So now let's talk about the voice. When I first heard him speak, I got the David Beckham flashback - you look at the pretty, lick your lips and then he opens his mouth and speaks and totes ruins the fantasy. Then I notice that Eric's voice grew on me and soon it became acceptable. Plus, I realized that during season 2 when he appeared very comfortable in his role as Eric, his vocal register, speech patterns and body language all mellowed out and all was well with my dear Sheriff.
On a final note, please, no more track suits or wife-beaters for Eric. There's something about the proportion of Alex's upper body to his lower half that makes him look slightly...how can I put this diplomatically...'oafish' when he is wearing a wife-beater. Also, no self respecting Viking, no matter how old, would ever wear a fucking track-suit!
I cannot wait to see what you have in store for us for season 3! Let me also add that I am glad that both Eggs and Maryanne are dead; those character story-lines were drawn out waaay to long and we actually cheered when they both met their fates.
I have a few requests for season 3:
More Pam: she's a snarky bitch and EVERYONE loves a snarky bitch!
More Lafayette: EVERYONE could use a little more Lafayette in their lives!
At least one appearance by Gran: Lois Smith is a phenomenal actress; I think she deserves a dream sequence.
More Andy Bellefleur
More Terry Bellefleur
Less Beel and Shuky: Sorry, I meant Bill and Sookie, but it is truly a fucking travesty the way they say each other's names.Cringe.Fucking.Worthy.Pronunciation. Blurgh.
and Finally...MORE ERIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let the Eric/Sookie sparks ignite.
Damn, is it June13th yet?
Ta.
Dazz
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
LoTR: Aragorn & Legolas
Hello Lovies!
So today me and the GBFs were surfing and chatting and came across some recent pics of Orlando Bloom and we couldn't help but reminisc about how fucking hawt Orly was back in his LoTR heyday. That lead to us going through what seemed like hundreds of vids on YouTube just quivering at the Legolas Pretty. Damn, that man's fine, slightly effeminate, elven features still bring the moists and the boners to this day! TMI? Perhaps, but don't pretend you don't KNOW what I mean.
As we perused the vids, we couldn't help but notice the smoldering all-male Pretty (and Jaw Porn) that is Viggo Mortensen aka Strider aka Aragorn aka King Elessar. No matter what you call him, that man is fuckhot. I am calling this Araporn from now on.
After what may have been several hours perusing the Pretty (solely for research purposes of course) we happened across one video that we all loved! It is strictly Aragorn and Legolas and let me tell you the thing is fucking hot! Seriously, how come I never saw this homoerotic, smoldering, UST, bromantic shit when I was watching these films when they first came out years ago???? Damn, the looks that they were exchanging...GUH and UNF!
*Goes to Amazon.com to order LoTR Trilogy on DVD posthaste!*
Anyineedtochangemypantiesrighthefucknow, here's the vid below, click and enjoy.
Ta,
Dazz
So today me and the GBFs were surfing and chatting and came across some recent pics of Orlando Bloom and we couldn't help but reminisc about how fucking hawt Orly was back in his LoTR heyday. That lead to us going through what seemed like hundreds of vids on YouTube just quivering at the Legolas Pretty. Damn, that man's fine, slightly effeminate, elven features still bring the moists and the boners to this day! TMI? Perhaps, but don't pretend you don't KNOW what I mean.
As we perused the vids, we couldn't help but notice the smoldering all-male Pretty (and Jaw Porn) that is Viggo Mortensen aka Strider aka Aragorn aka King Elessar. No matter what you call him, that man is fuckhot. I am calling this Araporn from now on.
After what may have been several hours perusing the Pretty (solely for research purposes of course) we happened across one video that we all loved! It is strictly Aragorn and Legolas and let me tell you the thing is fucking hot! Seriously, how come I never saw this homoerotic, smoldering, UST, bromantic shit when I was watching these films when they first came out years ago???? Damn, the looks that they were exchanging...GUH and UNF!
*Goes to Amazon.com to order LoTR Trilogy on DVD posthaste!*
Anyineedtochangemypantiesrighthefucknow, here's the vid below, click and enjoy.
Ta,
Dazz
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Conan and...TBS? Uh...Ok.
Hello Lovies!
So...Conan and... TBS? What The Fuck? Yah, didn't see that partnership coming.
Anyhoodle...bring it on Conando, I miss you and I'll watch you on that channel that I hardly ever watch but which I will now favorite in anticipation of your show's debut in November.
Does anyone else see the fucked up irony/reverse serendipity that Conan's new 11p.m. show on TBS will be bumping George Lopez's show to midnight?
Somewhere the Chin is having a snicker.
Team Conando, Bitches!
Ta,
Dazz
So...Conan and... TBS? What The Fuck? Yah, didn't see that partnership coming.
Anyhoodle...bring it on Conando, I miss you and I'll watch you on that channel that I hardly ever watch but which I will now favorite in anticipation of your show's debut in November.
Does anyone else see the fucked up irony/reverse serendipity that Conan's new 11p.m. show on TBS will be bumping George Lopez's show to midnight?
Somewhere the Chin is having a snicker.
Team Conando, Bitches!
Ta,
Dazz
Enough.Is.Enough.
Dear Media: There are no 'pregnant men'. Cease and desist with the sensationalist and disrespectful headlines!
JFC, this characterization has been driving me crazy since the first transgendered woman (in transition) became pregnant a few years ago and the media adopted the disgusting misnomer 'pregnant man'.
Biologically speaking, it is currently impossible for a man to become pregnant. That is a fact. The individuals who have become famous/infamous over the past few years are WOMEN. Yes, they are considered transgendered as they are transitioning from FTM, however, since they still have female reproductive organs and can become pregnant, they are still biologically considered female.
The term 'pregnant man' is one that was adopted by the MSM merely as a sensationalist ploy for ratings, readership etc., IMHO. Really, the term is disrespectful to transgendered individuals and those deciding/preparing to transition.
I also think that it does the LGBT community a huge disservice when others (outsiders) are allowed to label them inaccurately.
I frequent and comment on a few blogs and today this story was mentioned with the term 'pregnant man' in the post title. Some like me, were offended by the incorrect characterization of the transgendered female who had given birth. There was also a lot of confusion expressed by the commenters (if she identified as a man, why would she want to get pregnant and have a child?) as well as out and out intolerance and disgust (surprise surprise, NOT) at the couple.
The bruhaha made me wonder. The women who are pregnant and are being interviewed for their story, can't they insist on a change in how they are being characterized? They can demand/insist that the term 'pregnant man' is a misnomer and that they don't want to be referred to as such. Take the opportunity to educate the public on your unique circumstance. In effect, label yourself before someone incorrectly or inaccurately labels you.
Something like:
"I was born a woman, however I felt that I identified more as a male and decided to transition from FTM. As part of my transition, I had my breasts removed, began hormone treatments etc. Prior to completing gender reassignment surgery portion of my transition, I decided that I wanted to have a child of my own. Using donated sperm, I became pregnant and gave birth. I will now either go forward with the gender reassignment surgery or not.' To me, this addresses both the choice that they made to transition and to have a child.
Maybe, I am unintentionally oversimplifying this due to my lack of any real knowledge of their unique situations. Maybe these women's hands are tied? Would they rather get their story (of a family, who may not be your 'typical' one, but who are loving and 'normal' like any other family) out to the public and show the world that they have every right to start and raise a family like everyone else? Is that more important than 'getting the terms right'?
My fervent hope is that there will be a universal term death: 'Pregnant Man'.
Dazz
JFC, this characterization has been driving me crazy since the first transgendered woman (in transition) became pregnant a few years ago and the media adopted the disgusting misnomer 'pregnant man'.
Biologically speaking, it is currently impossible for a man to become pregnant. That is a fact. The individuals who have become famous/infamous over the past few years are WOMEN. Yes, they are considered transgendered as they are transitioning from FTM, however, since they still have female reproductive organs and can become pregnant, they are still biologically considered female.
The term 'pregnant man' is one that was adopted by the MSM merely as a sensationalist ploy for ratings, readership etc., IMHO. Really, the term is disrespectful to transgendered individuals and those deciding/preparing to transition.
I also think that it does the LGBT community a huge disservice when others (outsiders) are allowed to label them inaccurately.
I frequent and comment on a few blogs and today this story was mentioned with the term 'pregnant man' in the post title. Some like me, were offended by the incorrect characterization of the transgendered female who had given birth. There was also a lot of confusion expressed by the commenters (if she identified as a man, why would she want to get pregnant and have a child?) as well as out and out intolerance and disgust (surprise surprise, NOT) at the couple.
The bruhaha made me wonder. The women who are pregnant and are being interviewed for their story, can't they insist on a change in how they are being characterized? They can demand/insist that the term 'pregnant man' is a misnomer and that they don't want to be referred to as such. Take the opportunity to educate the public on your unique circumstance. In effect, label yourself before someone incorrectly or inaccurately labels you.
Something like:
"I was born a woman, however I felt that I identified more as a male and decided to transition from FTM. As part of my transition, I had my breasts removed, began hormone treatments etc. Prior to completing gender reassignment surgery portion of my transition, I decided that I wanted to have a child of my own. Using donated sperm, I became pregnant and gave birth. I will now either go forward with the gender reassignment surgery or not.' To me, this addresses both the choice that they made to transition and to have a child.
Maybe, I am unintentionally oversimplifying this due to my lack of any real knowledge of their unique situations. Maybe these women's hands are tied? Would they rather get their story (of a family, who may not be your 'typical' one, but who are loving and 'normal' like any other family) out to the public and show the world that they have every right to start and raise a family like everyone else? Is that more important than 'getting the terms right'?
My fervent hope is that there will be a universal term death: 'Pregnant Man'.
Dazz
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Word Death: Squealed
The word squealed (and all its forms) is now officially DEAD TO ME!
JFC, if I have to read one more sentence where SOMEONE (It's ALWAYS fucking Alice) squeals I think I'm gonna lose my shit and toss my laptop across the room.
PEOPLE DO NOT SQUEAL!!! ONLY PIGS SQUEAL!!
Everyone got it?? Good. Not let's move on shall we and use the phrase uttered a shrill cry, exclaimed happily...or something more appropriate and less porcine.
Ta,
Dazz
JFC, if I have to read one more sentence where SOMEONE (It's ALWAYS fucking Alice) squeals I think I'm gonna lose my shit and toss my laptop across the room.
PEOPLE DO NOT SQUEAL!!! ONLY PIGS SQUEAL!!
Everyone got it?? Good. Not let's move on shall we and use the phrase uttered a shrill cry, exclaimed happily...or something more appropriate and less porcine.
Ta,
Dazz
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Grey's Anatomy: The M.A.G.I.C is Gone
Hello Lovies!
So, as you know I've been ambivalent about Grey's Anatomy for sometime now, sure that it had jumped the shark and would probably be lucky to be renewed for another season - if that.
With last week's confirmation that Katherine Heigl will not be returning to the series, I feel compelled to make some sort of statement. So here goes.
When this show first debuted, my friends and I were hooked immediately. The 5 main characters -the interns, were a fresh addition to reality heavy TV and we related to them and the show right away. It was during the second epi that we noticed that the first letters of their first names spelled out the word MAGIC (I now refer to this as the Harry Potter Ministry Of Magic Effect - and if you got the reference I will heart you forever!.)
M = Meredith
A = Alex
G = George
I = Izzie
C = Cristina
Their camaraderie, hi-jinks, shenanigans and drama was great for the first 3 seasons and then that show seriously started going to SHIT! Shitty writing, contrived stories (getting stabbed by an ice stalactite, performing mouth to mouth on a deer, not to mention the epic...Meredith 'drowning' incident, the 'for the love of God just Fucking Die Already Denny so Izzie can stop fucking your ghost' crap, the '007 BusKill' and of course 'The Post It Marriage') What. The. Fuck. Shonda? What the Fuck?
Say what you will about Katherine Heigl and the shitty, entitled, ungrateful attitude she displays in the media, but she acts the hell out of the crappy material that is written for her on Grey's. For that alone, I will miss her.
I miss the old Alex Karev, not this pudgy, emasculated, whiny asshole that he is now.
I WILL NEVER miss George 'I made a girl cry during/after sex' O'Malley. Ever. He was THE weakest link on this show and I cheered like a fucking loon when I realized that he really had been killed by the bus. YES I DID!
Cristina's character was my favorite character, but then Shonda ruined her with the fallout from the Isaiah Washington bruhaha. She has never been the same since. Her character has basically devolved into a bitch; and not the good kind either.
What can we say about Meredith? Dragging her remaining family into the show - her Dad and her sister Lexipedia (I hate Lexie and the actress who plays her with the fire of a million suns! GAH!!!!) ruined her characterization as well.
Shonda, what the hell happened to the Fab Five? It's like you wrote these excellent characters and then just stopped developing them or you left it up to others who didn't share your vision. The show hasn't been the same and I don't watch it anymore and you know what...I don't miss it.
What I do miss is the excellent character Dr. Preston Burke. That was one of the better veteran actors on the show. He could act circles around McDreamy AND McSteamy. He was that good. The way you as the creator of that show handled the 'slur heard around the world incidents' was horrible. I believe that you let T.R. Knight, Katherine Heigl and ABC pressure you into letting him go and in agreeing allowed his unexpected departure to ruin the direction of your show. It has never been the same since. You have only yourself to blame. Handling this differently, you could have kept him on and it would have avoided the shoddy addition of so many stupid extraneous unnecessary characters (Dr. Hahn, Lexipedia, Meredith's Dad, Teddy etc.).
Anyhoo, it's all water under the bridge now, but I wonder if you would reconsider re-hiring Isaiah and resurrecting the Dr. Burke character; he would be a threat to so many people and open up so many avenues for drama and entertaining story lines. He would be a cardio-thoracic specialty threat to Teddy and threaten her title as Mentor to Cristina as in his time away he has become the expert in their field and has just patented/perfected the 'Preston Procedure' (shit now I have to write fan fic for this! LMAO/NR). He would be a potential love interest again for Cristina and cause some problems with her and Owen. He could also come back gunning for Chief and therefore be a threat to both Richard and Dereck. Just a few thoughts.
Shonda, it's been a great run, but Grey's is officially dead to me. I won't miss the show, but I'll miss what you created initially.
That was indeed M.A.G.I.C.
Dazz
So, as you know I've been ambivalent about Grey's Anatomy for sometime now, sure that it had jumped the shark and would probably be lucky to be renewed for another season - if that.
With last week's confirmation that Katherine Heigl will not be returning to the series, I feel compelled to make some sort of statement. So here goes.
When this show first debuted, my friends and I were hooked immediately. The 5 main characters -the interns, were a fresh addition to reality heavy TV and we related to them and the show right away. It was during the second epi that we noticed that the first letters of their first names spelled out the word MAGIC (I now refer to this as the Harry Potter Ministry Of Magic Effect - and if you got the reference I will heart you forever!.)
M = Meredith
A = Alex
G = George
I = Izzie
C = Cristina
Their camaraderie, hi-jinks, shenanigans and drama was great for the first 3 seasons and then that show seriously started going to SHIT! Shitty writing, contrived stories (getting stabbed by an ice stalactite, performing mouth to mouth on a deer, not to mention the epic...Meredith 'drowning' incident, the 'for the love of God just Fucking Die Already Denny so Izzie can stop fucking your ghost' crap, the '007 BusKill' and of course 'The Post It Marriage') What. The. Fuck. Shonda? What the Fuck?
Say what you will about Katherine Heigl and the shitty, entitled, ungrateful attitude she displays in the media, but she acts the hell out of the crappy material that is written for her on Grey's. For that alone, I will miss her.
I miss the old Alex Karev, not this pudgy, emasculated, whiny asshole that he is now.
I WILL NEVER miss George 'I made a girl cry during/after sex' O'Malley. Ever. He was THE weakest link on this show and I cheered like a fucking loon when I realized that he really had been killed by the bus. YES I DID!
Cristina's character was my favorite character, but then Shonda ruined her with the fallout from the Isaiah Washington bruhaha. She has never been the same since. Her character has basically devolved into a bitch; and not the good kind either.
What can we say about Meredith? Dragging her remaining family into the show - her Dad and her sister Lexipedia (I hate Lexie and the actress who plays her with the fire of a million suns! GAH!!!!) ruined her characterization as well.
Shonda, what the hell happened to the Fab Five? It's like you wrote these excellent characters and then just stopped developing them or you left it up to others who didn't share your vision. The show hasn't been the same and I don't watch it anymore and you know what...I don't miss it.
What I do miss is the excellent character Dr. Preston Burke. That was one of the better veteran actors on the show. He could act circles around McDreamy AND McSteamy. He was that good. The way you as the creator of that show handled the 'slur heard around the world incidents' was horrible. I believe that you let T.R. Knight, Katherine Heigl and ABC pressure you into letting him go and in agreeing allowed his unexpected departure to ruin the direction of your show. It has never been the same since. You have only yourself to blame. Handling this differently, you could have kept him on and it would have avoided the shoddy addition of so many stupid extraneous unnecessary characters (Dr. Hahn, Lexipedia, Meredith's Dad, Teddy etc.).
Anyhoo, it's all water under the bridge now, but I wonder if you would reconsider re-hiring Isaiah and resurrecting the Dr. Burke character; he would be a threat to so many people and open up so many avenues for drama and entertaining story lines. He would be a cardio-thoracic specialty threat to Teddy and threaten her title as Mentor to Cristina as in his time away he has become the expert in their field and has just patented/perfected the 'Preston Procedure' (shit now I have to write fan fic for this! LMAO/NR). He would be a potential love interest again for Cristina and cause some problems with her and Owen. He could also come back gunning for Chief and therefore be a threat to both Richard and Dereck. Just a few thoughts.
Shonda, it's been a great run, but Grey's is officially dead to me. I won't miss the show, but I'll miss what you created initially.
That was indeed M.A.G.I.C.
Dazz
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