So, history was made yesterday December 30th, 2009 when the daytime soap opera One Life To Live aired what was alluded to be a sex scene between Kish (Kyle and Fish).
I use the words 'alluded to' because there was no actual depiction of sex...after all this is still Network TV people, AND IT IS ABC.
What we had was a bit of foreplay - dimming of the lights, the lighting of candles, the slow mutual removal of each others' shirts, then the soft, promise filled kisses and then the cut to them already in bed under the covers looking into each others' eyes as they reach for one another...
...then we have a Stephenie 'Fade To Black' Meyers moment (those of you who read the Twilight Saga's Breaking Dawn know exactly what my bitter ass means) and then boom they're lying sated still under the covers basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking.
It's a soap so it has to have the obligatory cheesy dialog:
Q: *Sigh* Is it always going to be like this?
A: *Sigh* Always
...and then they spoon! Swoon and le sigh.
Yes, it was cheesy and typical of a soap opera, but the victory here is that it was represented on Network Television and treated in a similar fashion to a heterosexual love scene; believably beautiful, romantic and tender. Who could ask for more?
Enjoy the scene for yourselves; very tastefully done, non? The beauty that is gay love, it brings tears to my eyes.
This is progress, friends.
Dazz
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Seriously? SERIOUSLY????!
What the fuck is up with all of the 'Bella gets kidnapped and brutally raped' fics????
I know that the whole idea is to take our beloved Canon characters and weave our own tales, but Jesus Christ ENOUGH with these types of abuse fics!
I know there was one fic where everybody and Charlie was raping Bella and that one was deemed so offensive that it was removed from fanfic.
Over the past few months I have read about 6 fics where the theme was Bella gets kidnapped and raped by James/Felix/Demitri. The worse part of these fics is that after Bella was kidnapped/raped the FIRST time, she escapes/is rescued and then goes on to live as normal a life as can be expected after something that traumatic happens to you. This ideal lasts for TWO FUCKING CHAPTERS before Bella is kidnapped/raped AGAIN by the same perpetrators who attacked her the first time!!!! What. The. Fuck.
The worse part is that you've spent so much time reading the fic getting into the story that BOOM, it hits you and you're torn between 'fuck it, I quit this bitch' and 'damn it, I've spent all this time reading it and now I want to see the story through to the end'.
I think it should be MANDATORY for all fics where there is any type of sexual abuse to be tagged as such and have a disclaimer warning in the fucking description to let me know UP FRONT. That gives me a choice as to whether I want to read it or not.
Seriously, I just can't anymore.
Dazz
I know that the whole idea is to take our beloved Canon characters and weave our own tales, but Jesus Christ ENOUGH with these types of abuse fics!
I know there was one fic where everybody and Charlie was raping Bella and that one was deemed so offensive that it was removed from fanfic.
Over the past few months I have read about 6 fics where the theme was Bella gets kidnapped and raped by James/Felix/Demitri. The worse part of these fics is that after Bella was kidnapped/raped the FIRST time, she escapes/is rescued and then goes on to live as normal a life as can be expected after something that traumatic happens to you. This ideal lasts for TWO FUCKING CHAPTERS before Bella is kidnapped/raped AGAIN by the same perpetrators who attacked her the first time!!!! What. The. Fuck.
The worse part is that you've spent so much time reading the fic getting into the story that BOOM, it hits you and you're torn between 'fuck it, I quit this bitch' and 'damn it, I've spent all this time reading it and now I want to see the story through to the end'.
I think it should be MANDATORY for all fics where there is any type of sexual abuse to be tagged as such and have a disclaimer warning in the fucking description to let me know UP FRONT. That gives me a choice as to whether I want to read it or not.
Seriously, I just can't anymore.
Dazz
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Chapter 7 - The Tale Of The Unapologetic & The Blatant
Hey there!
Chapter 7 of my Queer As Folk FanFic The Tale Of The Unapologetic & The Blatant has been published!
On FanFiction
On Midnight Whispers
Enjoy!
Dazz
Chapter 7 of my Queer As Folk FanFic The Tale Of The Unapologetic & The Blatant has been published!
On FanFiction
On Midnight Whispers
Enjoy!
Dazz
Friday, December 25, 2009
Turducken Watch 2009
Merry Christmas Everybody!!!
I'm spending the day with my friendmily and the main course, the piece de resistance is TURDUCKEN!
Yes, you read that correctly, Turducken. What is a Turducken? It's a chicken stuffed into a duck which is then stuffed into a turkey. When I first heard about this, I of course though that it was some sort of mythical thing, you know like a unicorn or Nessie. Nope, turns out that shit is real and is gonna be cooked in our kitchen today. God help us all, we've got the doctor on speed dial and 10 bottles of Kaopectate on hand!
Here's a link for a description and the recipe for the Turducken.
Here's a pic of what it should look once it's done and carved for serving:
I'll update the blog throughout the day to let you know how we're all doing; you know if there's foodpoisoning, explosive diarrhea, salmonella etc. ( I keed I keed...not really, please pray for our survivial)
Hope you all have a great day with your own friendmalies!
Please be safe and responsible. If you're going to drive do NOT drink. If you're going to drink do NOT drive.
Dazz
UPDATE #1: 12:53p.m. Dinner is served! Everything looks so good! Dig in! Gryff is carving the Turducken now. Fingers crossed, lovies!
UPDATE # 2: 2:32p.m. Before I succumb to the impending and inevitable food coma, I must respectfully admit that the Turducken is no myth; it is real!
Okay, this thing took for fucking ever to prepare but it was totally worth it! I have one word to describe it - succulent. Seriously it was really good (and you all know how skeptical I was about this whole thing) and the combination of the different flavors and textures of the three meats plus the stuffing in between each...mmmmm *drooling on keyboard*
So, we all ate too damn much and there has been the ubiquitous unzipping of the jeans (I didn't have to do this as I learned my lesson at Thanksgiving and so wore a pair of yoga pants with an elasticized waist today! What? They're practical!) The table is clear kitchen is clean and tidy (we clean and wash the dishes as we cook go so there's no massive clean-up at the end) and now we're hanging out in the living room moaning about eating too much and watching a 'How It's Made' marathon on the Science Channel. What? Everyone should know how steering columns are made!
So far we all feel good; no signs of any nefarious side effects from consuming the Turducken.
I'll keep you posted...
UPDATE #3: 6:38p.m. So far so good; still no signs of any adverse effects from the Turducken.
So after watching 2 episodes of 'How It's Made' we all decided that we really didn't want to know how certain things were actually made (preferring to continue to think that cookies were baked by magical elves who live in trees) so we decided to watch a movie. Of course we couldn't agree on anything showing on cable so we ended up watching the one movie that we ALL agree on because each of us have seen it over a 100 times EACH - The Lion King. C'mon, don't scoff, the Lion King is awesome! We know all the dialog and the songs - there is nothing better in this world than a bunch of happy-assed people still in the remnants of a food coma singing Hakuna Matata at the tops of their lungs. I'll give you a visual...13 adults doing the 'Hakuna Matata' dance all throughout the living room in a pseudo conga line formation. What dance, you ask? It's the part where Timon, Pumbaa and Simba are walking across the bridge and you see Simba growing from a cub into an adult lion, strutting and shaking his mane from side to side. Yah, that is the 'dance'. LMAO.
Love that movie, I cried when Mufasa died. Yes, I cried when an animated lion Disney character died. I make no apologies. It is what it is.
Oh and Disney, if you want people to HATE the character of Scar, why did you have him voiced by the sexy awesomeness that is Jeremy Irons? Good God, that man's voice is like liquid sex! It's like the casting of Alan Rickman as Severus Snape...I can't hate movie Snape because he is dead sexy and his voice...he brings the quiver just by saying 'turn to page 394'!!!!!!!!!
Anyhoo, now we're getting ready for dessert. There's a lot to choose from but I'm going with my tried and true combination - a slice of 'death by chocolate' cake and a scoop of pistachio ice-cream. Ah, there is nothing like the love of your friendmily as you enjoy great food and inane conversation...the current conversation is a debate that spray tan solutions/sun less tanning creams etc. are poisoning us and could potentially be worse than using a tanning bed. Yep...friendmily.
FINAL UPDATE: 8:13p.m. All is well. What a wonderful day we had. The Turducken was a success and we all agree that it will be a permanent fixture on the Christmas Dinner menu.
Our compliments to our awesome Chef who is reading this over my shoulder simpering and then trying to be angry at us for thinking that his Turducken would kill us! Well done, love!
I hope that you all had a great day spent with your loved ones as well.
Again, Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings and here's wishing you and yours a Healthy and Prosperous 2010.
Love,
Dazz
I'm spending the day with my friendmily and the main course, the piece de resistance is TURDUCKEN!
Yes, you read that correctly, Turducken. What is a Turducken? It's a chicken stuffed into a duck which is then stuffed into a turkey. When I first heard about this, I of course though that it was some sort of mythical thing, you know like a unicorn or Nessie. Nope, turns out that shit is real and is gonna be cooked in our kitchen today. God help us all, we've got the doctor on speed dial and 10 bottles of Kaopectate on hand!
Here's a link for a description and the recipe for the Turducken.
Here's a pic of what it should look once it's done and carved for serving:
I'll update the blog throughout the day to let you know how we're all doing; you know if there's foodpoisoning, explosive diarrhea, salmonella etc. ( I keed I keed...not really, please pray for our survivial)
Hope you all have a great day with your own friendmalies!
Please be safe and responsible. If you're going to drive do NOT drink. If you're going to drink do NOT drive.
Dazz
UPDATE #1: 12:53p.m. Dinner is served! Everything looks so good! Dig in! Gryff is carving the Turducken now. Fingers crossed, lovies!
UPDATE # 2: 2:32p.m. Before I succumb to the impending and inevitable food coma, I must respectfully admit that the Turducken is no myth; it is real!
Okay, this thing took for fucking ever to prepare but it was totally worth it! I have one word to describe it - succulent. Seriously it was really good (and you all know how skeptical I was about this whole thing) and the combination of the different flavors and textures of the three meats plus the stuffing in between each...mmmmm *drooling on keyboard*
So, we all ate too damn much and there has been the ubiquitous unzipping of the jeans (I didn't have to do this as I learned my lesson at Thanksgiving and so wore a pair of yoga pants with an elasticized waist today! What? They're practical!) The table is clear kitchen is clean and tidy (we clean and wash the dishes as we cook go so there's no massive clean-up at the end) and now we're hanging out in the living room moaning about eating too much and watching a 'How It's Made' marathon on the Science Channel. What? Everyone should know how steering columns are made!
So far we all feel good; no signs of any nefarious side effects from consuming the Turducken.
I'll keep you posted...
UPDATE #3: 6:38p.m. So far so good; still no signs of any adverse effects from the Turducken.
So after watching 2 episodes of 'How It's Made' we all decided that we really didn't want to know how certain things were actually made (preferring to continue to think that cookies were baked by magical elves who live in trees) so we decided to watch a movie. Of course we couldn't agree on anything showing on cable so we ended up watching the one movie that we ALL agree on because each of us have seen it over a 100 times EACH - The Lion King. C'mon, don't scoff, the Lion King is awesome! We know all the dialog and the songs - there is nothing better in this world than a bunch of happy-assed people still in the remnants of a food coma singing Hakuna Matata at the tops of their lungs. I'll give you a visual...13 adults doing the 'Hakuna Matata' dance all throughout the living room in a pseudo conga line formation. What dance, you ask? It's the part where Timon, Pumbaa and Simba are walking across the bridge and you see Simba growing from a cub into an adult lion, strutting and shaking his mane from side to side. Yah, that is the 'dance'. LMAO.
Love that movie, I cried when Mufasa died. Yes, I cried when an animated lion Disney character died. I make no apologies. It is what it is.
Oh and Disney, if you want people to HATE the character of Scar, why did you have him voiced by the sexy awesomeness that is Jeremy Irons? Good God, that man's voice is like liquid sex! It's like the casting of Alan Rickman as Severus Snape...I can't hate movie Snape because he is dead sexy and his voice...he brings the quiver just by saying 'turn to page 394'!!!!!!!!!
Anyhoo, now we're getting ready for dessert. There's a lot to choose from but I'm going with my tried and true combination - a slice of 'death by chocolate' cake and a scoop of pistachio ice-cream. Ah, there is nothing like the love of your friendmily as you enjoy great food and inane conversation...the current conversation is a debate that spray tan solutions/sun less tanning creams etc. are poisoning us and could potentially be worse than using a tanning bed. Yep...friendmily.
FINAL UPDATE: 8:13p.m. All is well. What a wonderful day we had. The Turducken was a success and we all agree that it will be a permanent fixture on the Christmas Dinner menu.
Our compliments to our awesome Chef who is reading this over my shoulder simpering and then trying to be angry at us for thinking that his Turducken would kill us! Well done, love!
I hope that you all had a great day spent with your loved ones as well.
Again, Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings and here's wishing you and yours a Healthy and Prosperous 2010.
Love,
Dazz
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Happy Holidays!
Happy Holiday wishes to everyone!
Enjoy your family, friends and food safely and responsibly.
Dazz
Monday, December 14, 2009
Intervention: Dirty Boys & Jaw Porn
So, yesterday my gays invited me over for what I thought was a Sunday evening of frivolity...food, drink, bit o' porn and great company. Instead, it was a fucking intervention! Now if like me, you've seen that show on A&E you're probably wondering what the hell is Dazz addicted to that would warrant such a reaction from my gays, right? Meth? Nope! The Good shit (Michale K, I love you!)? Nope! LSD? Heroin? Quaaludes (what? I could be old school!)? Vicodin? Oxy? No ladies and gentlemen, my darling gays are worried about my addiction to 'Dirty Boys and Jaw Porn'. Yah, you read that right; Dirty Boys and Jaw Porn!
The first step is admitting you have a problem. Well, I don't think it's a problem per se, but I do admit that I like my Dirty Boys. But c'mon, what hot blooded woman doesn't??? Xander stated that he thought that I had a serious problem when 1. I started crushin' hard on Justin Bobby from MTV's The Hills and 2. When I started dating Gryffin - the jewelry-maker. Yep, melikey the Dirty Boys IRL (In Real Life) and IVL (In Virtual Life e.g. TV, Movies, Internet, Books, Manga, Porn, FanFic etc.)
So what's the deal with the Dirty Boys, Dazz? Well, I guess it's my version of liking the 'bad boy', I'm not attracted to the stereotypical bad boy, but his slightly more urbane cousin the Dirty Boy. My Dirty Boy has been influenced by the Seattle Grunge Movement, peppered with a bit o' Kings Of Leon with a hint of Lenny Kravitz and a smidge of George Michael in the 'Faith' video. There's a certain look, a uniform if you will, that I look for. Scuffed, worn leather boots. Slim fit (not skinny and def not baggy) distressed, faded, frayed at the hem, dark washed denim jeans. If the jeans are held up by a belt, there must be a big-assed distinctive belt buckle that draws the eye (a snake for the Slytherin lover in me is HOT!) Long or short sleeved cotton T. The ubiquitous black leather jacket; fitted, scuffed and well worn in. A slouchy beanie is a must. Leather cuff watch or a big stainless steel watch is a must. The hair has to be distinctive, a bit on the unkempt, longish, not-washed-daily variety and there has got to be some sort of facial scruff (no full beards or soul patches, TYVM!) There can be facial jewelry (vipers or brow piercings) but that's optional. Tongue piercing, sadly only optional. Tattoos, lots and lots of tatts all over the body but that can be covered by clothing. Penile piercings, welcome but optional. So yeah, from the above description, you have Justin Bobby. Best accessory is a Motorcycle. Yes, please!! Now ladies and some of you guys, you know someone exactly as I just described, I dare you to tell me they're not fucking hot! Yeah, I thought so. Makes me quiver.
My original Dirty Boy? Richard Greico from 21 Jumpstreet and Booker. Yeah, I'm dating myself here, but I urge you to YT him to see what I mean. Then you can get to Johnny Depp, Kiefer Sutherland in Lost Boys, Dylan McKay from BH 90210 and that brings us to these past few years - Lenny Kravitz, Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Brian Austin Green (Don't you fucking judge me!) Johnny Depp again, Sam Worthington...you get the picture.
I also like it when the Preppy Boys go Dirty. I just saw Sam Worthington in Terminator Salvation and damn that was one fucking hot Dirty Boy! Yum! There is a subtle difference between being a Dirty Boy and just being lazy about your style (Robert Pattinson, sadly I am talking to you. I mean how often are you gonna wear the same plaid shirt and white T???) Brad Pitt is the ultimate Pretty Boy who deep down is a Dirty Boy at heart and me likey. Love it when he's just tooling around on his bike, looking all grungy and sweaty and tasty and HAPPY!
David Beckham is the ultimate example of the Pretty Boy/Dirty Boy conundrum. When he travels without the wife and kids he's all uncoifed, au naturel and grungy as hell, showcasing the Dirty - Quiver Alert! Then boom, he's at some charity event and yowser out comes the Pretty in the D&G suit - GUH!!
Trust me, it must be dirty in looks only. The Boys must not actually be dirty or smelly, just look like they are. It's hard to explain, hence why the gays think I have a prob and that they needed to point this out to me.
So that's the Dirty Boy IVL.
Here's the Dirty Boy IRL.
It's like I sent Santa my specs and he and his little elves built me exactly what I asked for! Dazz has a Dirty Boy of her own - Gryffin. Everything I described above; my musts and my optionals? Yeah, Gryff has 'em all. Yay me! I'll respect his privacy and say that he's a successful jewelery maker who lives in one of the five boroughs and has a frenum ladder. That's not TMI at all, babe.
The thing is, Gryff and I have been together almost a year and he really doesn't get along with my gays. Except for the fact that they love his jewelry and they all love to cook together. In fact they thought that it was a phase I was going through and that it wouldn't get past the 'hook-up stage'. Plus, they think that I'm living out some sort of fantasy and need to be 'brought to my fucking senses'. What they don't understand is that Gryff is like my personal Dark Knight. It's the dual personas; when he needs to (for business meetings, parties, gallery openings, functions etc.) Gryff puts the Dirty Boy away and rocks the suit and he cleans up NICE. Think Gavin Rossdale or better yet, Matthew McConaughey in the D&G ad below. When he's on downtime, being creative or we're hanging out in the City, then the Dirty Boy comes out to play.
So, now let's talk about the Jaw Porn Addiction shall we? Yes, I love Jaw Porn and yes, I am addicted to it. Has it become a problem? Hell Yes! Case in point, I met with a new client last week and the jaw porn he was giving was so overwhelming that I was almost carried away by the quivers looking down the conference room table at his profile. Fuck Me, it was some of the best jaw porn ever! He's a beautiful Korean man who has the most captivating brown eyes and full sensuous lips and then whammo it just hits you...fuck awesome jaw porn!
Just in case you don't know what Jaw Porn is; it's all about the man with the strong sexy jaw profile! Guh! I've always liked a strong jaw and damn one of the best is Edward Cullen...err, I mean Robert Pattinson. Have you seen a profile shot of this guy?????? Quiver Alert!
Here is the ultimate example of jaw porn. I'm not going to type his name, because I mean no disrespect to his memory. You can see the JP even in the head on shot, can you imagine the profile??????
Matt McConaughey has great Jaw Porn head on and profile. Let me just list the best of the best now *Opens folder on desktop called Jaw Porn For Evah*:
Robert Pattinson
Matt McConaughey *
Brad Pitt *
Gale Harrold (Brian Fucking Kinney!)
Alexander Skarsgard
Aaron Eckhart (also has chin porn, but that's another post)
Shemar Moore
Johnny Depp *
Sam Worthington (newly discovered) *
Viggo (Long Live Aragorn)
Ed Harris
Boris Kodjoe
Rick Yune *
John Cho
Keanu Reeves *
Lance Reddick
Lorenzo Lamas *
Jason Lewis (Smith Jerrod) *
Taye Diggs
Sung Kang
Common *
Benjamin Bratt *
Daniel Dae Kim *
Christopher Meloni
Tony Leung Ka-Fai (Rent the 1992 movie The Lover)
Jeremy Irons
Adrian Pasdar
John Stamos
Joe Lawrence (You will always be Joey to me, Whoa!)
Robert Gant
Gregg Plitt
Sylvester Stallone (specifically in Judge Dredd also has lip porn) *
* Also qualifies as one of my IVL Dirty Boys
Okay, you get the idea. Google them and look at the pretty, sexy, dirty jaws. Quiver Alert.
The original Jaw Porn belongs to Richard Greico. Yeah, I know, it seems as though I have a Richard Greico addiction right?? Maybe I do, I just know that he was the first man that I was ever attracted to...so I guess you can say that I've modeled what I look for in a man after him. Take a look at the below, and you'll see that that ain't such a bad thing.
So, what was the outcome of the intervention? After I told them that they were all fucking CRAZY and that most of them shared my obsession and they should just fuck off, we then proceeded to imbibe some killer cocktails. Ironic, much? They kept harping on me for the next hour until Gryff came to pick me up dressed to the nines in his Armani suit with that beautiful emerald green Zegna tie I got him for his birthday which perfectly matched the emerald green cocktail dress I was wearing. Yeah, that shut my gays up with the quickness.
FYI, the gallery opening that we attended late last night was a beautiful, brilliant success.
Dazz
The first step is admitting you have a problem. Well, I don't think it's a problem per se, but I do admit that I like my Dirty Boys. But c'mon, what hot blooded woman doesn't??? Xander stated that he thought that I had a serious problem when 1. I started crushin' hard on Justin Bobby from MTV's The Hills and 2. When I started dating Gryffin - the jewelry-maker. Yep, melikey the Dirty Boys IRL (In Real Life) and IVL (In Virtual Life e.g. TV, Movies, Internet, Books, Manga, Porn, FanFic etc.)
So what's the deal with the Dirty Boys, Dazz? Well, I guess it's my version of liking the 'bad boy', I'm not attracted to the stereotypical bad boy, but his slightly more urbane cousin the Dirty Boy. My Dirty Boy has been influenced by the Seattle Grunge Movement, peppered with a bit o' Kings Of Leon with a hint of Lenny Kravitz and a smidge of George Michael in the 'Faith' video. There's a certain look, a uniform if you will, that I look for. Scuffed, worn leather boots. Slim fit (not skinny and def not baggy) distressed, faded, frayed at the hem, dark washed denim jeans. If the jeans are held up by a belt, there must be a big-assed distinctive belt buckle that draws the eye (a snake for the Slytherin lover in me is HOT!) Long or short sleeved cotton T. The ubiquitous black leather jacket; fitted, scuffed and well worn in. A slouchy beanie is a must. Leather cuff watch or a big stainless steel watch is a must. The hair has to be distinctive, a bit on the unkempt, longish, not-washed-daily variety and there has got to be some sort of facial scruff (no full beards or soul patches, TYVM!) There can be facial jewelry (vipers or brow piercings) but that's optional. Tongue piercing, sadly only optional. Tattoos, lots and lots of tatts all over the body but that can be covered by clothing. Penile piercings, welcome but optional. So yeah, from the above description, you have Justin Bobby. Best accessory is a Motorcycle. Yes, please!! Now ladies and some of you guys, you know someone exactly as I just described, I dare you to tell me they're not fucking hot! Yeah, I thought so. Makes me quiver.
My original Dirty Boy? Richard Greico from 21 Jumpstreet and Booker. Yeah, I'm dating myself here, but I urge you to YT him to see what I mean. Then you can get to Johnny Depp, Kiefer Sutherland in Lost Boys, Dylan McKay from BH 90210 and that brings us to these past few years - Lenny Kravitz, Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Brian Austin Green (Don't you fucking judge me!) Johnny Depp again, Sam Worthington...you get the picture.
I also like it when the Preppy Boys go Dirty. I just saw Sam Worthington in Terminator Salvation and damn that was one fucking hot Dirty Boy! Yum! There is a subtle difference between being a Dirty Boy and just being lazy about your style (Robert Pattinson, sadly I am talking to you. I mean how often are you gonna wear the same plaid shirt and white T???) Brad Pitt is the ultimate Pretty Boy who deep down is a Dirty Boy at heart and me likey. Love it when he's just tooling around on his bike, looking all grungy and sweaty and tasty and HAPPY!
David Beckham is the ultimate example of the Pretty Boy/Dirty Boy conundrum. When he travels without the wife and kids he's all uncoifed, au naturel and grungy as hell, showcasing the Dirty - Quiver Alert! Then boom, he's at some charity event and yowser out comes the Pretty in the D&G suit - GUH!!
Trust me, it must be dirty in looks only. The Boys must not actually be dirty or smelly, just look like they are. It's hard to explain, hence why the gays think I have a prob and that they needed to point this out to me.
So that's the Dirty Boy IVL.
Here's the Dirty Boy IRL.
It's like I sent Santa my specs and he and his little elves built me exactly what I asked for! Dazz has a Dirty Boy of her own - Gryffin. Everything I described above; my musts and my optionals? Yeah, Gryff has 'em all. Yay me! I'll respect his privacy and say that he's a successful jewelery maker who lives in one of the five boroughs and has a frenum ladder. That's not TMI at all, babe.
The thing is, Gryff and I have been together almost a year and he really doesn't get along with my gays. Except for the fact that they love his jewelry and they all love to cook together. In fact they thought that it was a phase I was going through and that it wouldn't get past the 'hook-up stage'. Plus, they think that I'm living out some sort of fantasy and need to be 'brought to my fucking senses'. What they don't understand is that Gryff is like my personal Dark Knight. It's the dual personas; when he needs to (for business meetings, parties, gallery openings, functions etc.) Gryff puts the Dirty Boy away and rocks the suit and he cleans up NICE. Think Gavin Rossdale or better yet, Matthew McConaughey in the D&G ad below. When he's on downtime, being creative or we're hanging out in the City, then the Dirty Boy comes out to play.
So, now let's talk about the Jaw Porn Addiction shall we? Yes, I love Jaw Porn and yes, I am addicted to it. Has it become a problem? Hell Yes! Case in point, I met with a new client last week and the jaw porn he was giving was so overwhelming that I was almost carried away by the quivers looking down the conference room table at his profile. Fuck Me, it was some of the best jaw porn ever! He's a beautiful Korean man who has the most captivating brown eyes and full sensuous lips and then whammo it just hits you...fuck awesome jaw porn!
Just in case you don't know what Jaw Porn is; it's all about the man with the strong sexy jaw profile! Guh! I've always liked a strong jaw and damn one of the best is Edward Cullen...err, I mean Robert Pattinson. Have you seen a profile shot of this guy?????? Quiver Alert!
Here is the ultimate example of jaw porn. I'm not going to type his name, because I mean no disrespect to his memory. You can see the JP even in the head on shot, can you imagine the profile??????
Matt McConaughey has great Jaw Porn head on and profile. Let me just list the best of the best now *Opens folder on desktop called Jaw Porn For Evah*:
Robert Pattinson
Matt McConaughey *
Brad Pitt *
Gale Harrold (Brian Fucking Kinney!)
Alexander Skarsgard
Aaron Eckhart (also has chin porn, but that's another post)
Shemar Moore
Johnny Depp *
Sam Worthington (newly discovered) *
Viggo (Long Live Aragorn)
Ed Harris
Boris Kodjoe
Rick Yune *
John Cho
Keanu Reeves *
Lance Reddick
Lorenzo Lamas *
Jason Lewis (Smith Jerrod) *
Taye Diggs
Sung Kang
Common *
Benjamin Bratt *
Daniel Dae Kim *
Christopher Meloni
Tony Leung Ka-Fai (Rent the 1992 movie The Lover)
Jeremy Irons
Adrian Pasdar
John Stamos
Joe Lawrence (You will always be Joey to me, Whoa!)
Robert Gant
Gregg Plitt
Sylvester Stallone (specifically in Judge Dredd also has lip porn) *
* Also qualifies as one of my IVL Dirty Boys
Okay, you get the idea. Google them and look at the pretty, sexy, dirty jaws. Quiver Alert.
The original Jaw Porn belongs to Richard Greico. Yeah, I know, it seems as though I have a Richard Greico addiction right?? Maybe I do, I just know that he was the first man that I was ever attracted to...so I guess you can say that I've modeled what I look for in a man after him. Take a look at the below, and you'll see that that ain't such a bad thing.
So, what was the outcome of the intervention? After I told them that they were all fucking CRAZY and that most of them shared my obsession and they should just fuck off, we then proceeded to imbibe some killer cocktails. Ironic, much? They kept harping on me for the next hour until Gryff came to pick me up dressed to the nines in his Armani suit with that beautiful emerald green Zegna tie I got him for his birthday which perfectly matched the emerald green cocktail dress I was wearing. Yeah, that shut my gays up with the quickness.
FYI, the gallery opening that we attended late last night was a beautiful, brilliant success.
Dazz
Saturday, December 12, 2009
C'Mon New Jersey, Let's Do This!
Since my New York has already totally fucking broken my heart by denying same sex couples the right to marry, it's up to my New Jersey to make the dream a reality for so many of my friends and loved ones.
Fingers crossed everyone that NJ will become the 6th!
Dazz
Fingers crossed everyone that NJ will become the 6th!
Dazz
Thursday, December 3, 2009
What The Hell New York? What.The.Hell.
This is the one that truly hurt the most. As a former New Yorker, as someone who has lived and loved in that state, I am ashamed, dismayed, angered and saddened at what has happened there.
As the state where most of my gays live, their lives were directly impacted and their civil rights denied when the NY Senate yesterday rejected a bill which would have allowed same sex couples to marry. The vote was 38 to 24, pretty decisive in showing that there is still great opposition to granting same sex couples equal rights to marry.
Read about it here.
Today we grieve, but tomorrow we continue the fight to ensure that our loved ones, our friends are granted their civil rights to marry and live their truth as gay Americans entitled to the same rights and benefits as heterosexuals.
As a heterosexual woman, who at this point in her life is not really interested in getting married or having kids, it would be easy for me to take the fact that I have that right for granted. Trust me, though, I don't. Why? Because I am surrounded by my gay family and friends who want to marry their spouses, who want to have children with their spouses and have their unions and their families recognized and be afforded the same benefits as heterosexual couples. It is ludicrous that we are even having to debate this, or vote on this, but one day, there truly will be equal rights for my friends.
New York State Senator Ruth Hassell-Thompsom voted YES; we need more like her to aid us in our fight for marriage equality. Watch her poignant speech and vote below.
Another ally in New York State Senator Diane Savino. Awesome speech and she voted YES!
I saw this on YT today and it is a very eloquent condemnation of the fact that same sex couples have to ask permission to receive marriage equality. Different geographic location, same principle.
My heart is sad and my spirit is angry today, but my resolve is stronger than ever.
Dazz
As the state where most of my gays live, their lives were directly impacted and their civil rights denied when the NY Senate yesterday rejected a bill which would have allowed same sex couples to marry. The vote was 38 to 24, pretty decisive in showing that there is still great opposition to granting same sex couples equal rights to marry.
Read about it here.
Today we grieve, but tomorrow we continue the fight to ensure that our loved ones, our friends are granted their civil rights to marry and live their truth as gay Americans entitled to the same rights and benefits as heterosexuals.
As a heterosexual woman, who at this point in her life is not really interested in getting married or having kids, it would be easy for me to take the fact that I have that right for granted. Trust me, though, I don't. Why? Because I am surrounded by my gay family and friends who want to marry their spouses, who want to have children with their spouses and have their unions and their families recognized and be afforded the same benefits as heterosexual couples. It is ludicrous that we are even having to debate this, or vote on this, but one day, there truly will be equal rights for my friends.
New York State Senator Ruth Hassell-Thompsom voted YES; we need more like her to aid us in our fight for marriage equality. Watch her poignant speech and vote below.
Another ally in New York State Senator Diane Savino. Awesome speech and she voted YES!
I saw this on YT today and it is a very eloquent condemnation of the fact that same sex couples have to ask permission to receive marriage equality. Different geographic location, same principle.
My heart is sad and my spirit is angry today, but my resolve is stronger than ever.
Dazz
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
World AIDS Day
Today is World AIDS Day. Please take some time to reflect on the memories of friends or loved ones we have lost to this horrible disease. There are many causes you can support to do your part in fighting the disease, helping those who are living with AIDS/HIV and finding a cure.
You can do your part by ensuring that you practice safe sex EVERY SINGLE TIME. It only takes 'one time' to expose yourself and those you love.
For more information on World AIDS Day, please click here.
Continued prayers that a cure for this disease is found and implemented soon.
Dazz
Monday, November 30, 2009
ABC- You & Me Are Fucking Done Professionally! UPDATE
You know I have to be really fucking upset if I'm quoting a line from the infamous Christian 'I Will Fucking Terminate You' Bale rant as a title for a blog post. Yes I AM FUCKING ANGRY!! Read on...
So ABC, according to you and your Disney Puppet Master, Chris Brown, a man who beat and bit the shit of his girlfriend, was charged with and plead guilty to FELONY assault, is more acceptable to appear on GMA than Adam Lambert. Adam Lambert whose only 'crime' was that he gave ABC the over the top, shock tv performance that they KNEW would draw viewers and give them the ratings they wanted.
You continue to let the world believe that Adam went all 'rogue' and did not tell ABC what his performance was going to be and therefore no one from ABC had okayed it or signed off on it. I CALL BULLSHIT!! After the Superbowl Nipplegate debacle, all tv stations kept an incredibly tight reign on their productions. especially live ones. Also, since Ryan Seacrest was the host he HAD to have known the type of provocative performance Adam was going to give. You have all hung this young man out to dry and it is reprehensible.
By canceling Adam and scheduling Chris, you now say to the world we prefer to have a convicted felon on our show than a homosexual.
...and for that ABC,YOU AND ME ARE FUCKING DONE PROFESSIONALLY!
You have lost this viewer that's for damn sure!
UPDATE!: The power of the Internet At Work!!! This just in from The New York Post's Page Six: Chris Brown will not be appearing/performing on ABC's GMA after all! ABC caved to the negative backlash it received regarding Adam Lambert's cancelation but allowing Chris a felon, to perform and promote his upcoming album on GMA.
Here's the link for the NYP P6 article.
He will now be appearing on ABC's 20/20 to give an in depth interview to tell the world why he beat the shit out of the woman he loved, but he still will NOT BE ALLOWED TO PERFORM!!!
Justice for Adam Lambert!
UPDATE: More fuckery; Adam's appearences on ABC's Jimmy Kimmell and the New Year's Rockin' Eve show have both been canceled. An ABC spokesperson said 'we decided not to move forward with the booking at this time'. Yeah, uh-huh, let me translate, 'The Rat wins and homophobia continues to spread across this country'.
Dazz
So ABC, according to you and your Disney Puppet Master, Chris Brown, a man who beat and bit the shit of his girlfriend, was charged with and plead guilty to FELONY assault, is more acceptable to appear on GMA than Adam Lambert. Adam Lambert whose only 'crime' was that he gave ABC the over the top, shock tv performance that they KNEW would draw viewers and give them the ratings they wanted.
You continue to let the world believe that Adam went all 'rogue' and did not tell ABC what his performance was going to be and therefore no one from ABC had okayed it or signed off on it. I CALL BULLSHIT!! After the Superbowl Nipplegate debacle, all tv stations kept an incredibly tight reign on their productions. especially live ones. Also, since Ryan Seacrest was the host he HAD to have known the type of provocative performance Adam was going to give. You have all hung this young man out to dry and it is reprehensible.
By canceling Adam and scheduling Chris, you now say to the world we prefer to have a convicted felon on our show than a homosexual.
...and for that ABC,YOU AND ME ARE FUCKING DONE PROFESSIONALLY!
You have lost this viewer that's for damn sure!
UPDATE!: The power of the Internet At Work!!! This just in from The New York Post's Page Six: Chris Brown will not be appearing/performing on ABC's GMA after all! ABC caved to the negative backlash it received regarding Adam Lambert's cancelation but allowing Chris a felon, to perform and promote his upcoming album on GMA.
Here's the link for the NYP P6 article.
He will now be appearing on ABC's 20/20 to give an in depth interview to tell the world why he beat the shit out of the woman he loved, but he still will NOT BE ALLOWED TO PERFORM!!!
Justice for Adam Lambert!
UPDATE: More fuckery; Adam's appearences on ABC's Jimmy Kimmell and the New Year's Rockin' Eve show have both been canceled. An ABC spokesperson said 'we decided not to move forward with the booking at this time'. Yeah, uh-huh, let me translate, 'The Rat wins and homophobia continues to spread across this country'.
Dazz
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Adam Lambert &The Double Standard
So let's talk about Adam Lambert.
I love him. He is fuck talented. He is unapologetic. He is sexy. He is blatant. He is charismatic. He is sexy as fuck.
I hate American Idol. I have hated that show since the year Chris Daughtry got voted off when he should have won. That was when I realized that the voters have no fucking idea what TRUE talent was and this whole competition was just a huge popularity contest a la High School. Going through High School once was more than enough for me, TYVM, so I was done with that show.
However, just like everybody else, I can't help but watch the first few episodes every season because that's where we get to see the turds (seriously, why do these peoples' friends and families lie to them and tell them they're talented and then let them go on TV to be ridiculed and shamed in front of the entire world???). Along with the turds we get to see some gems. It was clear from the first few epis that Adam Lambert was going to be a GEM.
Immediately, I was drawn to him. There is something about the way he moved, the way he spoke and the way he performed that was sexy as fuck! It was confidence. CONFIDENCE, not to be mistaken for ARROGANCE. He was comfortable with what he was singing and he was confident in his ability and talent. I was blown away. His voice is very melodic and his style has been described as theatrical and flamboyant. Bottom line is, he can sing and he is a helluva entertainer and a performer. I started voting for him from the beginning. On the performance nights I would be all itchy to hear what he was going to sing in each genre. There wasn't a night where I didn't enjoy his performance.
My absolute favorite of his performances was his version of Mad World. JFC, it gives me goosebumps now just thinking about it. In my Opinion his rendition of that song was hands down the BEST performance in the history of American Idol. If you don't know what I'm talking about, take a look and listen for yourself Adam Lambert-Mad World Live. If you want to hear the studio recording here it is Adam Lambert Mad World World Studio Recording.
There is no denying that he is talented. Night after night, I voted for him. My fingers were cramped from hitting the speed dial button, but I was determined to get as many votes in within that 2 hour window. My friends and I would watch his performances while on the phone with each other and then as soon as the show was over, we're all voting for Adam.
My friends and I are all different races, different sexual orientations, different taste in music, but we all recognized that Adam was the most talented singer and performer/entertainer of the season. What we loved about Adam was that he was different. I'm not talking sexuality, at least not yet. He was different, because he didn't deliver the safe, vanilla, expected performances that we've seen time and time again from other contestants. Every performance he gave was ADAM performing a song by Artist X. Not Adam trying to sound and perform like Artist X. If I wanted to hear a Whitney Houston rendition of a Whitney Houston song, I could go to my local bar and listen to a bunch of drunk ass chicks karaoke/sing that song from the Bodyguard. What Adam gave us was his interpretation of the song. He made you feel it. He made you connect to him, by his VOICE. I have NEVAH cried listening to someone perform a song on a reality show until the night Adam Lambert sang Mad World. Fucking Cried. I was speechless. At that point, I knew in my heart that he was going to win the competition.
Then all of the speculation and drama started. The 'reports' that he might be, GASP 'a homosexual'. My immediate thought was, uh yeah...AND???! I thought he was gay, but SO FUCKING WHAT?? My closest friends are gay and when we watched the show they were certain he was gay. It changed nothing for me or them. If anything, I think it made me even MORE determined to help him secure a win. Then we started looking online and the absolute hate directed towards him because of his alleged (at the time) homosexuality was heartbreaking. Let me tell you people, there is a lot more homophobia out there than we would like to think, believe or acknowledge. It was akin to racism; 'America is not ready for a Black President', 'The Middle America Soccer Mom set is not ready for a Gay American Idol'. It saddens and angers me as I write this when I remember all of the diatribe that was spouted. My gays were hurting, I was hurting, it sent one of our own who was on the precipice of coming out right back into the closet because of the negativity that the speculation about Adam's sexuality raised.
The things that were said...from 'God hates Fags' to 'He shouldn't be the American Idol winner because he would be a bad example to our young people'. Hooker say what??? The arguments I would get into with co-workers, colleagues, strangers, chat rooms...my responses ranged from 'God doesn't hate fags. How can he hate someone that he created in his image?' to 'If you have your kids looking to the winner of a singing contest as a role model then you are fucking idiot, Parent'. There was no getting through to or winning them over, though. One night I just decided that we were going to win this the only way that mattered; with our votes. So, we told everyone we knew to vote for Adam. We had people who didn't even watch AI voting. People took up the cause because they saw what was going on as a threat to a group's Civil Rights. The finale I lost count of how many times I voted...but the next day I woke up and my right hand was stuck in a claw and hurt like hell. Then the news; Adam didn't win. My immediate reaction was What.The.Fuck??? Then came anger...then I was just sad. Sad at the state this country is in. But then again, why should I be surprised? This is the same country that pulled out nearly all the stops to prevent a Black man from being elected as President. This is the same country where when I go certain places with my BF, or GF or friend who is of a different race we get 'the look'. This is the same country that feared electing a woman as President, because they still consider females the weaker and more emotional sex and therefore she shouldn't have the ability to 'press the button' ya know like when she has her period or is PMS'ing .
Then I thought about it and I realized that we had come full circle. The voting ceased to be about talent and it became about popularity and personal preference. It came down to a 'clean cut, married, simple Christian man' vs. A 'flaming, extravagant, flamboyant, theatrical homosexual'. If you think otherwise then you are fooling yourself. It shows that there are still a lot of hate-filled, intolerant, ignorant people out there. They voted overwhelmingly and Adam lost. All those people who were voting for that laughable Danny Glasses Guy...mobilized and threw their votes behind the Christian Man. Some people even said that it came down to race - Christian vs. Jew.
But I was fucking proud of Adam. He was true to HIMSELF and never presented himself as anything other than who or what he was. My close friends are gay and I know first hand how difficult it can be for them when they are outside 'the community'. One of them is very flamboyant...and celebrates and proclaims his 'GAYNESS' as he proudly calls it. Another is more low-key, but not any less gay. It's just that to exist in Corporate America where he makes his living he must 'blend'. Sad, but this is still the reality in 2009. I have been his Merkin for him at several of his work functions...sad but we all have to do what we have to do. He is not happy to do it, but he must work to provide for himself. It kills him to hide this part of himself. Yet another of my gays has a unique philosophy. These words are what I wrote for one of my stories after talking to him about his sexuality: "It wasn’t something that I hid, but it wasn’t something that I felt the need to announce; it was just who I was. I didn’t walk into a room and announce that I was left handed, but when you saw me writing you knew what I was. Same thing with my sexuality; I didn’t walk into a room and announce that I was a fag, but if you saw me fucking a man in a corner of that room then you knew what I was."
Adam chose not to let speculation and questions about his sexuality distract from his talent and him trying to win a singing competition. I think he was absolutely right not to address the gossip and speculation. To see the press digging for pictures of him kissing another man and holding it up to the Middle America Soccer Mom set as if to say 'voila, shame, see we told you he fucks men so he cannot be chosen as an American Idol' was sad and shameful. Seeing things like that shows us that we have not progressed as far as we'd like to think.
But I was secure in the knowledge that within a few months that no-one would even remember the name of the guy who won but they would always remember Adam Lambert. He was a sensational talent that was going to around for a long time. I was gonna support Adam with whatever he did. In me he had a fan for life.
If you've read my older posts you saw that I want him and Lady Gaga to go on tour together; two fucking phenomenally talented entertainers - what a helluva show that would be. Adam Lambert is going to be successful no matter what he does.
So all of this brings us to what's been going on these past few days. His performance at the AMA's was his big debut, the day before his album dropped and it was being touted as the performance of the night...and it was. It closed the show and as soon as it was over all hell broke loose. People were up in arms...he kissed a guy, he provocatively dragged a girl across the stage by her leg, he pulled at a chick's vag, he dragged 'sex slaves' across the stage by leashes, he thrust his cock (and what an impressive looking cock it appears to be) in some guy's face to simulate oral sex. Oh, the horror! Let's break it down here, my biggest peeve about his performance was that Adam was off vocally. I can only imagine the pressure that must have been on him from his Record Label, from his PR folks and from himself to hit it out of the park. Did he? No. It was just a good performance. Not the standard that we know he can deliver. (He even admitted it on his Twitter that he was pitchy and HELL YES I follow him) He was nervous, there was a lot of choreography to remember, cues to hit and HE FELL at one point (although he played that shit off so well, most people thought it was part of his act). I also think that he was nervous about the reaction from the audience as well. You can see from the audience reaction that they were stunned at what they had seen. Maybe that's why he gave em the finger? I mean, there were overtures of BDSM, D/s, Bondage, Goth, Bordello influences...in short Adam DID NOT DISAPPOINT! People, the fucking song was called 'For Your Entertainment'! In the words of Maximus Decimus Meridius, 'Were You Not Entertained?' I sure as hell was. Here are the words to the Chorus of the song:
Oooh, do you know what you got into?
Can you handle what I'm about to do?
Cause its about to get rough for you
I'm here for your entertainment
Oooh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
You thought an angel swept ya off ya feet
Well I'm about to turn up the heat
I'm here for your entertainment
He delivered. The 'problem' was that a lot of people did not like his entertainment. To each his own. He was pitchy and screamy at times but no worse than other performers that night. At least he sang live and didn't lipsynch like others. I like campy and theatrical and over the top and I LOVE that Adam did it. If you've seen Adam's performances from back in the day you would have known what to expect and what he was capable of when he pulled out all of the stops. I wasn't shocked and I doubt that any other true fan of his was either. Go look at some of his older performances on YouTube and you'll see what I mean.
So then the hoopla began when ABC decided to edit out the simulated oral sex from its West Coast broadcast citing complaints that it received about indecency and that those complaining were urging the FCC to step in. JFC, it was like Nipplegate all over again. This time I hoped that the artist in this case would stand firm and not capitulate under pressure (I'm talking about you Justin Timberlake!) So far Adam has not capitulated and apologized. Here's what Adam told Rolling Stone magazine, "Female performers have been doing this for years — pushing the envelope about sexuality — and the minute a man does it, everybody freaks out. We're in 2009 — it's time to take risks, be a little more brave, time to open people's eyes and if it offends them, then maybe I'm not for them. My goal was not to piss people off, it was to promote freedom of expression and artistic freedom." I could not have said it better myself.
Here's the fallout:
Adam was supposed to perform on ABC's GMA the next morning, but the ABC brass canceled him. Why? Because Middle America can't handle some man on man kissing or a hint 'o BDSM in the morning with their coffee and as the kids enjoy their Cheerios. Official statement from ABC 'we were concerned about airing a similar concert so early in the morning'. Okay, I get it. This I can kinda understand. The performance he had given the prior night would not have been appropriate for early morning television. However, instead of speaking to Adam and compromising with him to remove the (what they deemed to be) 'objectionable' material or 'tone down' his performance, they outright canceled him! FAIL!
We know the real reason he was canceled. ABC is owned by Disney. Disney needs the Middle America Soccer Mom set to survive. They had to appease the 1500 Soccer Moms who complained the night before. If they had decided to let Adam perform on GMA, all hell would have broken loose and the Soccer Moms would all turn rabid and write letters of complaint about ABC AND Disney. There would have been threat of boycotts and people, the Mouse cannot afford to lose its biggest revenue earners - the Middle America Soccer Mom set!
Then, like a saving grace in steps CBS to the rescue. Adam performed on the CBS Early Show and he was phenomenal. I was happy, I felt vindicated. Look at this beautiful man and his fucking awesome voice. CBS had to have been crowing to themselves over the coup they had scored over ABC's shoddy handling of Adam. Here is a link to Adam's CBS Early Show Performance.
Then CBS shot it all to hell when they did their little intro prior to interviewing Adam. They showed the snippet from his AMA performance the night before and BLURRED out the part where he kissed his male keyboardist. Seconds later they showed the Britney/Madonna/Christina Aguilera kiss - UNBLURRED!! See below pic. Here folks is the point where it was so blatantly obvious that there is a DOUBLE STANDARD in terms of what is 'acceptable' and what is not. They later had the nerve (after their Double Standard was pointed out by angry fans and bloggers and via Twitter and various sites) to issue this bullshit, CYA statement "We gave this some real thought. The Madonna image is very familiar and has appeared countless times including many times on Morning television. The Adam Lambert image is a subject of great current controversy, has not been nearly as widely disseminated,and for all we know may still lead to legal consequences.
Let's break it down:
ABC caved from the pressure of a few upset viewers and edited/censored Adam's performance when it rebroadcast it for the West Coast.
ABC caved from the potential backlash and canceled Adam's GMA performance due to the 'potential for a repeat of the previous night's performance which contained imagery some deemed indecent and objectionable'.
CBS crowed and invited Adam on to be interviewed and to perform. Adam performed well. Then CBS fucked it all to hell with their double standards.
The thing is with all of the controversy, Adam is getting a lot of publicity, more people are hearing him perform and that means more fans and more record sales. I am sure though, that he has also lost a lot of fans, fans that feel that he has betrayed them since this was not the image that they associated with him when he was on American Idol. They feel betrayed. Fuck that. Adam is Unapologetically and Blatantly living his truth as Adam Lambert.
ABC acted cowardly for caving on his GMA performance. They could have compromised and provided Adam with guidelines on the performance and I am sure even Adam would have agreed that what he had done in the prior night's performance would not have been appropriate for an early morning talk show. ABC, however, did not give Adam that chance, they just arbitrarily canceled him.
Disney are hypocrites! Their little darling Miley Cyrus performed on the 2009 Teen Choice Awards, dancing provocatively with older male dances sliding around her on the floor, gyrating her hips and touching herself on the inner thigh, while wearing a pair of 'coochie-cutter' shorts and with her bra exposed. Then they bring out an ice-cream cart with a pole on it which she promptly starts using to do some simulated 'tame' stripper moves. Really, people? No one saw anything wrong with that on a show directed at TEENS and TWEENS???
A lot of the arguments I heard were that Adam's performance was more suited to cable - MTV, VH1 or the like. Probably true, but it didn't happen that way for whatever reason. I for one would have been happy if he had performed at the MTV VMAs because then Adam, Pink and Lady GaGa would have been the top 3 BEST performances of the night.
I maintain that the blame for this entire brouhaha lies with ABC. Someone from ABC had to have been present at the rehearsal and seen what was going to go down. Somewhere ABC signed off on Adam's performance and gave their stamp of Approval and All Systems Go. They expect us to believe that Adam, his entire entourage, his Management, his PR people knew about this performance BUT nobody from ABC did? That Adam went 'rogue'? I call BULLSHIT!! ABC knew and they were on board cause they wanted the viewership and the resulting ratings that Adam would bring! It ain't called shock TV for nothin' people! They rolled the dice and lost and Adam was the fall guy for their loss.
Female popstars have been doing these over sexualized performances for years. Madonna, Janet Jackson and Britney Spears come to mind. The reason Adam's performance was such a controversy is because he is a gay man. If you replace Adam with either Britney, Janet or Madonna in that same performance, it would have been deemed 'edgy' and that these ladies are 'still pushing the envelope artistically'. See, the Middle America Soccer Mom set knows that Britney and Madonna are wives and mothers (that 'wholesome' image they can relate to) and recognize that they are acting and putting on a show to shock and entertain us. They sit in their living rooms and gasp 'oh, that Madonna is so edgy' as Madonna rams a guy's face into her crotch, kisses her male keyboardist and pulls at the crotch of a female dancer. Cue to Adam's performance and all they can think is that because he is a gay man that he is trying to ram his 'gayness' and what he does as a gay man (kissing, fellatio and crotch pulling?!) down their throats. They become incensed and irate and run to their telephones and call the decency councils and complain and then they call ABC and complain and then they fire off an angry email to the Disney Corp.: 'Dear Mickey Mouse, I was going to book a 10 day vacation to Disneyworld for my entire family (20 of us total) but after watching this disgusting and indecent display of depraved acts on the American Music Awards I do not think that I want to give my money to a company that supports this type of behavior.' You KNOW that's just what happened. So the Mouse caved and they made ABC cave.
People argued that their kids were watching and were exposed to these indecent acts. Uh, what the fuck were your kids doing up at 11p.m to watch this? Also, let's be honest these are the same people who are shocked when they find out that 13 year old Janey is pregnant or is wearing shag bands and when confronted admits that she doesn't have sex with boys, she only gives oral. Yep, totally fucking clueless! Seeing a man on man kiss at 11 p.m. on Network television is not going to warp your child's mind, or morally corrupt them or 'turn them gay'.
Bottom line is this: Adam you have fans out there who enjoy what you do and will support you. We love you for who and what you are and we think you are very talented, fuck hot and we love you! Continue to live your truth and please continue to entertain us.
Dazz
I love him. He is fuck talented. He is unapologetic. He is sexy. He is blatant. He is charismatic. He is sexy as fuck.
I hate American Idol. I have hated that show since the year Chris Daughtry got voted off when he should have won. That was when I realized that the voters have no fucking idea what TRUE talent was and this whole competition was just a huge popularity contest a la High School. Going through High School once was more than enough for me, TYVM, so I was done with that show.
However, just like everybody else, I can't help but watch the first few episodes every season because that's where we get to see the turds (seriously, why do these peoples' friends and families lie to them and tell them they're talented and then let them go on TV to be ridiculed and shamed in front of the entire world???). Along with the turds we get to see some gems. It was clear from the first few epis that Adam Lambert was going to be a GEM.
Immediately, I was drawn to him. There is something about the way he moved, the way he spoke and the way he performed that was sexy as fuck! It was confidence. CONFIDENCE, not to be mistaken for ARROGANCE. He was comfortable with what he was singing and he was confident in his ability and talent. I was blown away. His voice is very melodic and his style has been described as theatrical and flamboyant. Bottom line is, he can sing and he is a helluva entertainer and a performer. I started voting for him from the beginning. On the performance nights I would be all itchy to hear what he was going to sing in each genre. There wasn't a night where I didn't enjoy his performance.
My absolute favorite of his performances was his version of Mad World. JFC, it gives me goosebumps now just thinking about it. In my Opinion his rendition of that song was hands down the BEST performance in the history of American Idol. If you don't know what I'm talking about, take a look and listen for yourself Adam Lambert-Mad World Live. If you want to hear the studio recording here it is Adam Lambert Mad World World Studio Recording.
There is no denying that he is talented. Night after night, I voted for him. My fingers were cramped from hitting the speed dial button, but I was determined to get as many votes in within that 2 hour window. My friends and I would watch his performances while on the phone with each other and then as soon as the show was over, we're all voting for Adam.
My friends and I are all different races, different sexual orientations, different taste in music, but we all recognized that Adam was the most talented singer and performer/entertainer of the season. What we loved about Adam was that he was different. I'm not talking sexuality, at least not yet. He was different, because he didn't deliver the safe, vanilla, expected performances that we've seen time and time again from other contestants. Every performance he gave was ADAM performing a song by Artist X. Not Adam trying to sound and perform like Artist X. If I wanted to hear a Whitney Houston rendition of a Whitney Houston song, I could go to my local bar and listen to a bunch of drunk ass chicks karaoke/sing that song from the Bodyguard. What Adam gave us was his interpretation of the song. He made you feel it. He made you connect to him, by his VOICE. I have NEVAH cried listening to someone perform a song on a reality show until the night Adam Lambert sang Mad World. Fucking Cried. I was speechless. At that point, I knew in my heart that he was going to win the competition.
Then all of the speculation and drama started. The 'reports' that he might be, GASP 'a homosexual'. My immediate thought was, uh yeah...AND???! I thought he was gay, but SO FUCKING WHAT?? My closest friends are gay and when we watched the show they were certain he was gay. It changed nothing for me or them. If anything, I think it made me even MORE determined to help him secure a win. Then we started looking online and the absolute hate directed towards him because of his alleged (at the time) homosexuality was heartbreaking. Let me tell you people, there is a lot more homophobia out there than we would like to think, believe or acknowledge. It was akin to racism; 'America is not ready for a Black President', 'The Middle America Soccer Mom set is not ready for a Gay American Idol'. It saddens and angers me as I write this when I remember all of the diatribe that was spouted. My gays were hurting, I was hurting, it sent one of our own who was on the precipice of coming out right back into the closet because of the negativity that the speculation about Adam's sexuality raised.
The things that were said...from 'God hates Fags' to 'He shouldn't be the American Idol winner because he would be a bad example to our young people'. Hooker say what??? The arguments I would get into with co-workers, colleagues, strangers, chat rooms...my responses ranged from 'God doesn't hate fags. How can he hate someone that he created in his image?' to 'If you have your kids looking to the winner of a singing contest as a role model then you are fucking idiot, Parent'. There was no getting through to or winning them over, though. One night I just decided that we were going to win this the only way that mattered; with our votes. So, we told everyone we knew to vote for Adam. We had people who didn't even watch AI voting. People took up the cause because they saw what was going on as a threat to a group's Civil Rights. The finale I lost count of how many times I voted...but the next day I woke up and my right hand was stuck in a claw and hurt like hell. Then the news; Adam didn't win. My immediate reaction was What.The.Fuck??? Then came anger...then I was just sad. Sad at the state this country is in. But then again, why should I be surprised? This is the same country that pulled out nearly all the stops to prevent a Black man from being elected as President. This is the same country where when I go certain places with my BF, or GF or friend who is of a different race we get 'the look'. This is the same country that feared electing a woman as President, because they still consider females the weaker and more emotional sex and therefore she shouldn't have the ability to 'press the button' ya know like when she has her period or is PMS'ing .
Then I thought about it and I realized that we had come full circle. The voting ceased to be about talent and it became about popularity and personal preference. It came down to a 'clean cut, married, simple Christian man' vs. A 'flaming, extravagant, flamboyant, theatrical homosexual'. If you think otherwise then you are fooling yourself. It shows that there are still a lot of hate-filled, intolerant, ignorant people out there. They voted overwhelmingly and Adam lost. All those people who were voting for that laughable Danny Glasses Guy...mobilized and threw their votes behind the Christian Man. Some people even said that it came down to race - Christian vs. Jew.
But I was fucking proud of Adam. He was true to HIMSELF and never presented himself as anything other than who or what he was. My close friends are gay and I know first hand how difficult it can be for them when they are outside 'the community'. One of them is very flamboyant...and celebrates and proclaims his 'GAYNESS' as he proudly calls it. Another is more low-key, but not any less gay. It's just that to exist in Corporate America where he makes his living he must 'blend'. Sad, but this is still the reality in 2009. I have been his Merkin for him at several of his work functions...sad but we all have to do what we have to do. He is not happy to do it, but he must work to provide for himself. It kills him to hide this part of himself. Yet another of my gays has a unique philosophy. These words are what I wrote for one of my stories after talking to him about his sexuality: "It wasn’t something that I hid, but it wasn’t something that I felt the need to announce; it was just who I was. I didn’t walk into a room and announce that I was left handed, but when you saw me writing you knew what I was. Same thing with my sexuality; I didn’t walk into a room and announce that I was a fag, but if you saw me fucking a man in a corner of that room then you knew what I was."
Adam chose not to let speculation and questions about his sexuality distract from his talent and him trying to win a singing competition. I think he was absolutely right not to address the gossip and speculation. To see the press digging for pictures of him kissing another man and holding it up to the Middle America Soccer Mom set as if to say 'voila, shame, see we told you he fucks men so he cannot be chosen as an American Idol' was sad and shameful. Seeing things like that shows us that we have not progressed as far as we'd like to think.
But I was secure in the knowledge that within a few months that no-one would even remember the name of the guy who won but they would always remember Adam Lambert. He was a sensational talent that was going to around for a long time. I was gonna support Adam with whatever he did. In me he had a fan for life.
If you've read my older posts you saw that I want him and Lady Gaga to go on tour together; two fucking phenomenally talented entertainers - what a helluva show that would be. Adam Lambert is going to be successful no matter what he does.
So all of this brings us to what's been going on these past few days. His performance at the AMA's was his big debut, the day before his album dropped and it was being touted as the performance of the night...and it was. It closed the show and as soon as it was over all hell broke loose. People were up in arms...he kissed a guy, he provocatively dragged a girl across the stage by her leg, he pulled at a chick's vag, he dragged 'sex slaves' across the stage by leashes, he thrust his cock (and what an impressive looking cock it appears to be) in some guy's face to simulate oral sex. Oh, the horror! Let's break it down here, my biggest peeve about his performance was that Adam was off vocally. I can only imagine the pressure that must have been on him from his Record Label, from his PR folks and from himself to hit it out of the park. Did he? No. It was just a good performance. Not the standard that we know he can deliver. (He even admitted it on his Twitter that he was pitchy and HELL YES I follow him) He was nervous, there was a lot of choreography to remember, cues to hit and HE FELL at one point (although he played that shit off so well, most people thought it was part of his act). I also think that he was nervous about the reaction from the audience as well. You can see from the audience reaction that they were stunned at what they had seen. Maybe that's why he gave em the finger? I mean, there were overtures of BDSM, D/s, Bondage, Goth, Bordello influences...in short Adam DID NOT DISAPPOINT! People, the fucking song was called 'For Your Entertainment'! In the words of Maximus Decimus Meridius, 'Were You Not Entertained?' I sure as hell was. Here are the words to the Chorus of the song:
Oooh, do you know what you got into?
Can you handle what I'm about to do?
Cause its about to get rough for you
I'm here for your entertainment
Oooh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
You thought an angel swept ya off ya feet
Well I'm about to turn up the heat
I'm here for your entertainment
He delivered. The 'problem' was that a lot of people did not like his entertainment. To each his own. He was pitchy and screamy at times but no worse than other performers that night. At least he sang live and didn't lipsynch like others. I like campy and theatrical and over the top and I LOVE that Adam did it. If you've seen Adam's performances from back in the day you would have known what to expect and what he was capable of when he pulled out all of the stops. I wasn't shocked and I doubt that any other true fan of his was either. Go look at some of his older performances on YouTube and you'll see what I mean.
So then the hoopla began when ABC decided to edit out the simulated oral sex from its West Coast broadcast citing complaints that it received about indecency and that those complaining were urging the FCC to step in. JFC, it was like Nipplegate all over again. This time I hoped that the artist in this case would stand firm and not capitulate under pressure (I'm talking about you Justin Timberlake!) So far Adam has not capitulated and apologized. Here's what Adam told Rolling Stone magazine, "Female performers have been doing this for years — pushing the envelope about sexuality — and the minute a man does it, everybody freaks out. We're in 2009 — it's time to take risks, be a little more brave, time to open people's eyes and if it offends them, then maybe I'm not for them. My goal was not to piss people off, it was to promote freedom of expression and artistic freedom." I could not have said it better myself.
Here's the fallout:
Adam was supposed to perform on ABC's GMA the next morning, but the ABC brass canceled him. Why? Because Middle America can't handle some man on man kissing or a hint 'o BDSM in the morning with their coffee and as the kids enjoy their Cheerios. Official statement from ABC 'we were concerned about airing a similar concert so early in the morning'. Okay, I get it. This I can kinda understand. The performance he had given the prior night would not have been appropriate for early morning television. However, instead of speaking to Adam and compromising with him to remove the (what they deemed to be) 'objectionable' material or 'tone down' his performance, they outright canceled him! FAIL!
We know the real reason he was canceled. ABC is owned by Disney. Disney needs the Middle America Soccer Mom set to survive. They had to appease the 1500 Soccer Moms who complained the night before. If they had decided to let Adam perform on GMA, all hell would have broken loose and the Soccer Moms would all turn rabid and write letters of complaint about ABC AND Disney. There would have been threat of boycotts and people, the Mouse cannot afford to lose its biggest revenue earners - the Middle America Soccer Mom set!
Then, like a saving grace in steps CBS to the rescue. Adam performed on the CBS Early Show and he was phenomenal. I was happy, I felt vindicated. Look at this beautiful man and his fucking awesome voice. CBS had to have been crowing to themselves over the coup they had scored over ABC's shoddy handling of Adam. Here is a link to Adam's CBS Early Show Performance.
Then CBS shot it all to hell when they did their little intro prior to interviewing Adam. They showed the snippet from his AMA performance the night before and BLURRED out the part where he kissed his male keyboardist. Seconds later they showed the Britney/Madonna/Christina Aguilera kiss - UNBLURRED!! See below pic. Here folks is the point where it was so blatantly obvious that there is a DOUBLE STANDARD in terms of what is 'acceptable' and what is not. They later had the nerve (after their Double Standard was pointed out by angry fans and bloggers and via Twitter and various sites) to issue this bullshit, CYA statement "We gave this some real thought. The Madonna image is very familiar and has appeared countless times including many times on Morning television. The Adam Lambert image is a subject of great current controversy, has not been nearly as widely disseminated,and for all we know may still lead to legal consequences.
Let's break it down:
ABC caved from the pressure of a few upset viewers and edited/censored Adam's performance when it rebroadcast it for the West Coast.
ABC caved from the potential backlash and canceled Adam's GMA performance due to the 'potential for a repeat of the previous night's performance which contained imagery some deemed indecent and objectionable'.
CBS crowed and invited Adam on to be interviewed and to perform. Adam performed well. Then CBS fucked it all to hell with their double standards.
The thing is with all of the controversy, Adam is getting a lot of publicity, more people are hearing him perform and that means more fans and more record sales. I am sure though, that he has also lost a lot of fans, fans that feel that he has betrayed them since this was not the image that they associated with him when he was on American Idol. They feel betrayed. Fuck that. Adam is Unapologetically and Blatantly living his truth as Adam Lambert.
ABC acted cowardly for caving on his GMA performance. They could have compromised and provided Adam with guidelines on the performance and I am sure even Adam would have agreed that what he had done in the prior night's performance would not have been appropriate for an early morning talk show. ABC, however, did not give Adam that chance, they just arbitrarily canceled him.
Disney are hypocrites! Their little darling Miley Cyrus performed on the 2009 Teen Choice Awards, dancing provocatively with older male dances sliding around her on the floor, gyrating her hips and touching herself on the inner thigh, while wearing a pair of 'coochie-cutter' shorts and with her bra exposed. Then they bring out an ice-cream cart with a pole on it which she promptly starts using to do some simulated 'tame' stripper moves. Really, people? No one saw anything wrong with that on a show directed at TEENS and TWEENS???
A lot of the arguments I heard were that Adam's performance was more suited to cable - MTV, VH1 or the like. Probably true, but it didn't happen that way for whatever reason. I for one would have been happy if he had performed at the MTV VMAs because then Adam, Pink and Lady GaGa would have been the top 3 BEST performances of the night.
I maintain that the blame for this entire brouhaha lies with ABC. Someone from ABC had to have been present at the rehearsal and seen what was going to go down. Somewhere ABC signed off on Adam's performance and gave their stamp of Approval and All Systems Go. They expect us to believe that Adam, his entire entourage, his Management, his PR people knew about this performance BUT nobody from ABC did? That Adam went 'rogue'? I call BULLSHIT!! ABC knew and they were on board cause they wanted the viewership and the resulting ratings that Adam would bring! It ain't called shock TV for nothin' people! They rolled the dice and lost and Adam was the fall guy for their loss.
Female popstars have been doing these over sexualized performances for years. Madonna, Janet Jackson and Britney Spears come to mind. The reason Adam's performance was such a controversy is because he is a gay man. If you replace Adam with either Britney, Janet or Madonna in that same performance, it would have been deemed 'edgy' and that these ladies are 'still pushing the envelope artistically'. See, the Middle America Soccer Mom set knows that Britney and Madonna are wives and mothers (that 'wholesome' image they can relate to) and recognize that they are acting and putting on a show to shock and entertain us. They sit in their living rooms and gasp 'oh, that Madonna is so edgy' as Madonna rams a guy's face into her crotch, kisses her male keyboardist and pulls at the crotch of a female dancer. Cue to Adam's performance and all they can think is that because he is a gay man that he is trying to ram his 'gayness' and what he does as a gay man (kissing, fellatio and crotch pulling?!) down their throats. They become incensed and irate and run to their telephones and call the decency councils and complain and then they call ABC and complain and then they fire off an angry email to the Disney Corp.: 'Dear Mickey Mouse, I was going to book a 10 day vacation to Disneyworld for my entire family (20 of us total) but after watching this disgusting and indecent display of depraved acts on the American Music Awards I do not think that I want to give my money to a company that supports this type of behavior.' You KNOW that's just what happened. So the Mouse caved and they made ABC cave.
People argued that their kids were watching and were exposed to these indecent acts. Uh, what the fuck were your kids doing up at 11p.m to watch this? Also, let's be honest these are the same people who are shocked when they find out that 13 year old Janey is pregnant or is wearing shag bands and when confronted admits that she doesn't have sex with boys, she only gives oral. Yep, totally fucking clueless! Seeing a man on man kiss at 11 p.m. on Network television is not going to warp your child's mind, or morally corrupt them or 'turn them gay'.
Bottom line is this: Adam you have fans out there who enjoy what you do and will support you. We love you for who and what you are and we think you are very talented, fuck hot and we love you! Continue to live your truth and please continue to entertain us.
Dazz
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Turkey Day!
First off, let's just take a look at the pic of my turkey; fucking hilarious, non?
I hope you all have a great day.
I hope you enjoy good food, good alcohol (safely, please), good family (hey, you'll see them one more time for the year at Christmas and then you're free of them till next year, YAY!) and good friends.
I'm not gonna list all of the things that you should be thankful for, you know that better than anyone.
What I am gonna say is that if you're able to logon to this here Internets, fire up a PC (JFC or a Mac!) and read my thoughts on this here blog, then that means that you have a helluva lot to be thankful for. It means you have a place to live, it means that you probably have a job, it means that you have electricity and just stuff in general and that means that you are doing a helluva lot better than A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE. So be thankful for that.
One of the things that I am most thankful for are my friends. You see, I'm not close to my family, but over the years, I have made some friends who I have come to consider family. It is a very diverse family; we're all different races, different ages, different sexual orientations, we have different tastes, but there is one common underlying thread that connect us all. WE FUCKING LOVE EACH OTHER UNCONDITIONALLY. We were lost ships floundering who all managed to find each other and now we are each others' family. For that I am truly thankful.
If you're drinking, please do NOT drive. If you're driving, please do NOT drink.
Our turkey has been dessimated and this year we ran out of white meat before dark meat (some of us are on a health kick this year and opted for the breast, FUCK THAT, I enjoyed my drumstick, TYVM!). The mashed potatoes were light and fluffy (and not that shit from the box either). All in all a good meal, accompanied by the laughter and loud boisterouness of my family.
Now, we're all stuffed and sleepy and most of us had to open our pants we ate so fucking MUCH!
We are happy and healthy and there is so MUCH FUCKING LOVE SURROUNDING ME, I COULD BURST.
Later, there will be dessert; pumpkin pie, apple pie, pecan pie and Chocolate Cake - All served a la mode (vanilla or pistachio are your choices of ice cream) but for now, we're just enjoying one another's company and basking in the love that we have for each other.
I hope you're having a great day too!
With LOVE,
Dazz
Monday, November 16, 2009
You Were Abducted - Of Course You Need Crepes
Yes my friends, the post title perfectly sums up the awesomeness that is Fringe!
Thoughts:
Walter's fascination with brains...uh yeah.
Astrid is not as squicked out about this Fringe stuff as she used to be.
Walter and Peter's Uterus-Noise Teddy Bear...say it with me...Awwwwww
Broyles goin' rogue and getting shot...that man is sexy and stoic. No CHJ this epi.
Nina - this bitch has the uncanny ability to switch emotional states like nobody's business. One minute she's gentle, encouraging and cajoling with Walter. The next she's cold and calculating when emailing 'Willem' about the collateral damage of one of their experiments or lying directly to the FBI agents' faces. She's lying to Broyles too, but I still say they're making the beast with two backs with aewsome CHJs!
BTW, we all know that they're not shutting down that 'Mind Control' experiment just because the kid with the Pez dispenser fucked up, made contact with his 'Mom' and killed a bunch a people.
Holy Fuck...how many 'Tylers' are there? It looked like at least 10 in the room where the doc was taking the sedated 'Tyler' at the end - I'm calling it the Hall O' Tylers!
I agree with walter...you were abducted...of course you need crepes!
Peter is fuckhawt!
Promo for next epi...There is more than one of everything???!!!! I can't fucking wait!
This fucking show pwns me!!!
Dazz
Thoughts:
Walter's fascination with brains...uh yeah.
Astrid is not as squicked out about this Fringe stuff as she used to be.
Walter and Peter's Uterus-Noise Teddy Bear...say it with me...Awwwwww
Broyles goin' rogue and getting shot...that man is sexy and stoic. No CHJ this epi.
Nina - this bitch has the uncanny ability to switch emotional states like nobody's business. One minute she's gentle, encouraging and cajoling with Walter. The next she's cold and calculating when emailing 'Willem' about the collateral damage of one of their experiments or lying directly to the FBI agents' faces. She's lying to Broyles too, but I still say they're making the beast with two backs with aewsome CHJs!
BTW, we all know that they're not shutting down that 'Mind Control' experiment just because the kid with the Pez dispenser fucked up, made contact with his 'Mom' and killed a bunch a people.
Holy Fuck...how many 'Tylers' are there? It looked like at least 10 in the room where the doc was taking the sedated 'Tyler' at the end - I'm calling it the Hall O' Tylers!
I agree with walter...you were abducted...of course you need crepes!
Peter is fuckhawt!
Promo for next epi...There is more than one of everything???!!!! I can't fucking wait!
This fucking show pwns me!!!
Dazz
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Grrr Just Fucking Say 'Thank You!'
I started out as a reader of fanfiction and if I was really impressed by a story that I was reading I would take a few minutes to write a review to tell the author what I enjoyed. I just thought that since they had taken the time and spent the effort writing for me, that I could certainly spare a few minutes to let them know what I enjoyed about their offering. Sometimes it was a comment about how funny the character was, or that I agreed with a character's reaction to a plot point, sometimes it was just to acknowledge how well written the story was.
If I started reading a story and it wasn't my cup 'o tea, then I stopped reading and moved on to one that was. I do not flame authors because I may not agree with a plot point or character behaviour/development etc. I just move on. I know that sometimes I get pissed when reading and I so don't agree with the direction of the story. I yell at my laptop and assert 'Edward is being a fucking douche', 'Bella is a complete cunt!', 'Bella is being totes uber-stupid' or 'Jesus Christ if I read another story where DiNozzo gets kidnapped and raped I am gonna lose my fucking mind!', but I just walk away from those stories and take em off alert and find something that really catches my attention and is worthy of my time.
When I started writing and publishing my own shit I realized how completely awesome and awe-inspiring it it is to receive reviews. That made me feel even better for all those times when I had taken a few minutes to show other authors some love by writing a review. It is not easy taking that first step and publishing something that you created. You know that it won't be for everyone, but you hope that someone reading it will get where you were coming from and will care about the characters and the story in the same way you do and take the time to let you know. When I got my first review (it happened to be a positive, complimentary one) I hollered and cheered like a loon; I scared the shit out of the GF and the DD (Dear Dog). It felt good. We all as authors say that we do not need validation; that my friends is Bull to the shit! It's the validation from our readers that spurs us to get the next chappy written and uploaded rapidement!
When I receive a review, I always take a minute to reply to thank the reviewer - it is basic fucking courtesy! It is me expressing my appreciation for them taking the time to tell me that they enjoyed what I created. I have been very lucky that this gesture has led to back and forths between me and the reviewer that have led to some good friendships on the multiple sites dedicated to fanfiction with my DBTN nom de plume as well as other pen names I write under.
The one thing that I absolutely abhor is when an author does not take the time to reply to a review. Seriously, one of my fave fanfic authors came up with a brilliant way of handling the overwhelming number of reviews that he (he writes as a woman but he's really a guy and I love it that NO ONE has figured it out!) was getting. He dedicates one hour every night to answering reviews. He has a word document where he has canned responses already typed up and he copies and pastes a reply to a review. If it's one of those reviews that's 'Plz update soon...I loooooove this story!', he's got a reply that says simply, 'Update coming soon! :-) '. If it's a review saying that the reader enjoyed the chapter update, he's got one that says, 'Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I'm happy that you are enjoying the story' - incidentally that is the one I came up with and use and he liked it so he totes plaged it! When it's a flame or a negative review then he's got one that says 'Thanks for taking the time for letting me know how you feel about my story.' Sometimes you get a review that is outside these scenarios and that's where he spends the time to actually free-form that response. Those are the ones that take the most time; the ones that you can tell the review put a lot of though and effort into the review.
I know that you're gonna say, well that's fine when you only receive a few reviews a day, what about those authors who received hundreds?'. That's a good point, then you go with the bucket response and Ctrl+P 'Thanks for the review!'. People will prefer this generic form letter type response than feeling as though their review was not even acknowledged.
I respect the authors who will come out in the A/N of the subsequent chapter and do a mass thank you to all who reviewed because they received hundreds of reviews and even though they tried to respond to as many as possible they couldn't reply to everybody. But the thing that gets me is the authors that DO NOT EVER RESPOND TO REVIEWS, BUT HAVE THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO BEG ME TO REVIEW THE CHAPTER!!!! Oh that fucking burns me when I see their little A/N at the bottom of the chapter...'reviews are love!' and begging me to review. Fuck You, I won't do it! Those authors do not deserve it! These are the same authors that spend ALL FUCKING DAY TWEETING INANELY WHEN THEY COULD BE USING THE TIME TO RESPOND TO REVIEWS! You know who I'm talking about! The same authors that HATE-TWEET WHEN THEY RECEIVE A LESS THAN PERFECT DEVOTIONAL REVIEW! Uggghhh....they make me burn with that shit.
They fail to realize that when you show your appreciation to a reviewer, that person will more than likely be more inclined to review subsequent chapters and stories; in short you get a reviewer for life.
I have a few authors that I follow religiously who I take the time to review their work because it's so fucking good! They always take the time to respond. It may not be the same day or the next, but I ALWAYS GET RESPONSES FROM THEM WITHIN THREE DAYS OF MY REVIEW. Basic fucking courtesy! They've got me; I'm a reviewer for life. I've got them on my Favorite Author List, their stories are favorited and alerted and hell yeah I have them on Author Alert too!
Over the last few months I have really become jaded by the blatant lack of courtesy in the fanfic world. The self-important, holier-than-thou and self-entitled attitudes are reprehensible and disgusting, but I chose to write at my own pace and only read the authors work who I truly enjoy.
I was searching through the NCIS archives and found some amazing stories from 2 to 3 years ago and I enjoyed them so much I reviewed them. The author responded a few days later thanking me for my review and said that she didn't even realize that people were still reading her stories and she thanked me for even taking the time to review, that it made her day. Ah, a symbiotic relationship - She created a story hoping that it would potentially be enjoyed by a reader. A reader enjoyed it and reviewed it to let the author know that it was a well written, thought provoking, funny etc. story. The author reads the review and is thrilled with the fact that a reader enjoyed her work. The author then responds to the review and tells the reader that they appreciated the review.
C'Mon folks, how fucking hard would it be to click on the reply url, type a few words (or Ctrl+P your canned response) and then hit submit? I can bet it's a helluva lot shorter than the time it took your reader to come up with that review that made you smile all day today.
Do the right thing authors; Just Fucking Say 'Thank You!'
Dazz
If I started reading a story and it wasn't my cup 'o tea, then I stopped reading and moved on to one that was. I do not flame authors because I may not agree with a plot point or character behaviour/development etc. I just move on. I know that sometimes I get pissed when reading and I so don't agree with the direction of the story. I yell at my laptop and assert 'Edward is being a fucking douche', 'Bella is a complete cunt!', 'Bella is being totes uber-stupid' or 'Jesus Christ if I read another story where DiNozzo gets kidnapped and raped I am gonna lose my fucking mind!', but I just walk away from those stories and take em off alert and find something that really catches my attention and is worthy of my time.
When I started writing and publishing my own shit I realized how completely awesome and awe-inspiring it it is to receive reviews. That made me feel even better for all those times when I had taken a few minutes to show other authors some love by writing a review. It is not easy taking that first step and publishing something that you created. You know that it won't be for everyone, but you hope that someone reading it will get where you were coming from and will care about the characters and the story in the same way you do and take the time to let you know. When I got my first review (it happened to be a positive, complimentary one) I hollered and cheered like a loon; I scared the shit out of the GF and the DD (Dear Dog). It felt good. We all as authors say that we do not need validation; that my friends is Bull to the shit! It's the validation from our readers that spurs us to get the next chappy written and uploaded rapidement!
When I receive a review, I always take a minute to reply to thank the reviewer - it is basic fucking courtesy! It is me expressing my appreciation for them taking the time to tell me that they enjoyed what I created. I have been very lucky that this gesture has led to back and forths between me and the reviewer that have led to some good friendships on the multiple sites dedicated to fanfiction with my DBTN nom de plume as well as other pen names I write under.
The one thing that I absolutely abhor is when an author does not take the time to reply to a review. Seriously, one of my fave fanfic authors came up with a brilliant way of handling the overwhelming number of reviews that he (he writes as a woman but he's really a guy and I love it that NO ONE has figured it out!) was getting. He dedicates one hour every night to answering reviews. He has a word document where he has canned responses already typed up and he copies and pastes a reply to a review. If it's one of those reviews that's 'Plz update soon...I loooooove this story!', he's got a reply that says simply, 'Update coming soon! :-) '. If it's a review saying that the reader enjoyed the chapter update, he's got one that says, 'Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I'm happy that you are enjoying the story' - incidentally that is the one I came up with and use and he liked it so he totes plaged it! When it's a flame or a negative review then he's got one that says 'Thanks for taking the time for letting me know how you feel about my story.' Sometimes you get a review that is outside these scenarios and that's where he spends the time to actually free-form that response. Those are the ones that take the most time; the ones that you can tell the review put a lot of though and effort into the review.
I know that you're gonna say, well that's fine when you only receive a few reviews a day, what about those authors who received hundreds?'. That's a good point, then you go with the bucket response and Ctrl+P 'Thanks for the review!'. People will prefer this generic form letter type response than feeling as though their review was not even acknowledged.
I respect the authors who will come out in the A/N of the subsequent chapter and do a mass thank you to all who reviewed because they received hundreds of reviews and even though they tried to respond to as many as possible they couldn't reply to everybody. But the thing that gets me is the authors that DO NOT EVER RESPOND TO REVIEWS, BUT HAVE THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO BEG ME TO REVIEW THE CHAPTER!!!! Oh that fucking burns me when I see their little A/N at the bottom of the chapter...'reviews are love!' and begging me to review. Fuck You, I won't do it! Those authors do not deserve it! These are the same authors that spend ALL FUCKING DAY TWEETING INANELY WHEN THEY COULD BE USING THE TIME TO RESPOND TO REVIEWS! You know who I'm talking about! The same authors that HATE-TWEET WHEN THEY RECEIVE A LESS THAN PERFECT DEVOTIONAL REVIEW! Uggghhh....they make me burn with that shit.
They fail to realize that when you show your appreciation to a reviewer, that person will more than likely be more inclined to review subsequent chapters and stories; in short you get a reviewer for life.
I have a few authors that I follow religiously who I take the time to review their work because it's so fucking good! They always take the time to respond. It may not be the same day or the next, but I ALWAYS GET RESPONSES FROM THEM WITHIN THREE DAYS OF MY REVIEW. Basic fucking courtesy! They've got me; I'm a reviewer for life. I've got them on my Favorite Author List, their stories are favorited and alerted and hell yeah I have them on Author Alert too!
Over the last few months I have really become jaded by the blatant lack of courtesy in the fanfic world. The self-important, holier-than-thou and self-entitled attitudes are reprehensible and disgusting, but I chose to write at my own pace and only read the authors work who I truly enjoy.
I was searching through the NCIS archives and found some amazing stories from 2 to 3 years ago and I enjoyed them so much I reviewed them. The author responded a few days later thanking me for my review and said that she didn't even realize that people were still reading her stories and she thanked me for even taking the time to review, that it made her day. Ah, a symbiotic relationship - She created a story hoping that it would potentially be enjoyed by a reader. A reader enjoyed it and reviewed it to let the author know that it was a well written, thought provoking, funny etc. story. The author reads the review and is thrilled with the fact that a reader enjoyed her work. The author then responds to the review and tells the reader that they appreciated the review.
C'Mon folks, how fucking hard would it be to click on the reply url, type a few words (or Ctrl+P your canned response) and then hit submit? I can bet it's a helluva lot shorter than the time it took your reader to come up with that review that made you smile all day today.
Do the right thing authors; Just Fucking Say 'Thank You!'
Dazz
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Paging Dr. McQuiver
I have continued watching Grey's Anatomy for one reason and one reason only, Dr. Jackson Avery...known to me as Dr. McQuiver. Why? Cuz he makes muh lady parts fucking quiver whenever he's onscreen! Unnff! Swoon. Le Sigh.
The actor who plays him is Jesse Williams and he fucking owns every scene he's been in from his first episode. His eyes, the set of his lips...UUNNFFF! He's a skilled and subtle actor and seems to have seamlessly fit in with the rest of the cast. Yes, I know that I was totally against the whole SG/MW merger, but if it means more of Dr. McQuiver; I'll just have to deal with it. I like that he and Alex hate each other, you know why? Cuz he is how Alex used to be; hot and hungry. So ambitious that he would do anything to get ahead and stand out from his colleagues. That was the Alex I loved, not this bloated pussy-whipped, neutered specimen that we've been forced to endure for the past 2 seasons.
I hope that Dr. McQuiver will be a permanent addition to the SG staff, because he brings the quivers in every scene and you know me, I do enjoy the quivers.
Dazz
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Shamefuck...Chuck Bass
Let me preface this post by saying that I have NEVAH seen an episode of Gossip Girl, nor do I plan to change that.
So we all have a list of people that we secretly would love to fuck, but only if we could be sure that no one would EVAH find out about it. One of my BFF's shamefucks is Sylvester Stallone. I just threw up in my mouth a little just thinking about that, but Xander's reason is that he will be envisioning the Sylvester Stallone of Judge Dredd! Even I have to admit that he was fucking HAWT in that movie, 'I am Duh Law!' *Orgasms* Anyway, you see what I mean. It's not just us kiddies either, one of my Gays' mom's shamefucks is Billy Joel but just so that he can sing to her.
My shamefuck is Chuck Bass. Let me reiterate, it's Chuck Bass and NOT the actor who plays him Ed Westwick. There is a very big distinction between the two. I tend to like celebrities but I fall in love with (read want to fuck) their characters. See list on Profile to see those characters I'm talking about but here are 2 examples - Brian Kinney? Absofuckinglutely! Gale Harold? Meh, not so much. Edward Cullen? Yes please, I'll worship his sparkly peen! Robert Pattinson? I'll hang out with him at a bar and catch a band in the East Village.
Okay, so how the hell did this all happen? As you know I am addicted to a few awesome blogs on this here Internets and I follow them hourly...some of them are Gay blogs, some are Bi blogs, some are Het blogs. The one thing they all have in common? A love-hate relationship with Chuck Bass. Apparently you either love him or loathe him. From the pics and vids I have seen of him in action over the last few years, I definitely fall into the LOVE category!
What is it about him? Smug? Check! Dapperly dressed? Check! The Sultry Come To Me-Drop Your Panties-Get On Your Knees And Purr For Me Stare? Check! Smarmy? Check! Bastard? Check! There is just something incredibly sexy and sensual and debonair about this character and yes...I would definitely fuck him. *Hangs Head In Shame*
Ladies and Gentlemen, below is the reason I would ride this man all fucking night long. The Pretty. The Sexy. The Fuckhot. The Voice. The Accent. Oh God THE ACCENT!
Dazz
Christine Lahti...WTF???!!!
You may have noticed the complete lack of posts for one of my favorite shows...L&O:SVU and probably wondered why I wasn't showing them any love. The reason is simple; it is hard to talk about something which you once loved so unconditionally now that it's completely gone to shit. L&O:SVU was my favorite of the L&O series (with CI coming in a very close second; Robert Goren I fucking HEART you), but over the last few years it has Jumped the Shark (Rapper-eating tigers and Gibbons in basketballs...Jesus Christ it even hurt to just type that) However, because I am so invested in all of the main characters (will Liv ever find I nice man who appreciate her and will love her just as she is? Will Ellitot ever grow a pair and leave his shrew of a wife or at least use a condom so they can stop popping out band-aid babies?) I come back every season even after all of the contrived fuckery that they have given me.
Then came last season's finale and I vowed 'no more, no fucking more'. I was done. That episode was so badly written, so contrived, it seems as though the pot weasels and TPTB just threw their hands up and said 'We give up let's just throw as many cliches, twists, turns, kill off one of our most popular and hottest supporting characters, 'injure' one of our main characters and see if our stupid but loyal viewers will buy it!' and cobbled that epi together.
Okay, none of us liked that Forensic guy Stuckey from his first time on screen and we all knew that Stabler despised him and that he made no effort to hide his dislike from Stuckey, so we really weren't surprised when all the drama (I refuse to recap it, watching it once was enough for my brain) went down. The killing off of one of the hottest recurring characters Forensics Lab guy Ryan O'Halloran? WTF ? Shame on you! The fact that the writers wanted us to believe that Liv couldn't take out this stupid kid in 2.3 seconds but had to go through the whole 'I hate my partner, but let me tongue you' ploy to disarm him??? Foul! Although her slapping the shit out of El had some soft-core BDSM overtones and me likey. Killing off Emily Fucking Gilmore?? You Swine! The episode ended and we just sat and looked at each other...shellshocked...what a complete and utter clusterfuck! So that night, all 12 of us at the viewing party in Chelsea decided en masse that we were over SVU and we would not be coming back for season 11.
Fate, however, had different plans for us. Since none of us had deprogrammed SVU, our DVRs and TiVos recorded the season premier. Which we all watched grudgingly three days later. There was no mention of O'Halloran's murder, Stuckey's psychotic break and attempted murder of Elliott 'I Need To Be Shirtless More Often' Stabler. It's like it didn't happen. Is this like that whole season of Dallas that didn't happen because Pam was dreaming everything? I personally was waiting for a shot of Forensics guy O'Halloran soaping up in the shower at Olivia's apartment. WTF??
So then we see the introduction of this new EADA, who from the minute we saw her, we said 'What the Fuck has Christine Lahti been doing to her face??? Step away from the botox lady!' and then OT said, 'she's gonna be a ball-busting bitch who's gonna alienate the squad and it ain't gonna end well for her'. So the pool began as to how she would be phased out when the pot weasels and TPTB realized that immediate feedback from the fans (that shitstorm on Twitter) would be that we HATED HER a la Kim Graylik her predecessor. I had $100 for Episode 8 where she would be strangled to death by a perp who didn't like her 'tude as Liv and El sat back and let her do their job because she said that they were incompetent and she could do it better.
Never in a million years could any of us have predicted the fuckery that was last week's episode...her own incompetence and weakness is what did her in! She tries to hit on El, she tries to hit on Liv. She tells Cap'n Cragen that acoholism is not a disease and then BOOYAH!! Epic meltdown and reputation lost.Christine, did you need the money that badly??? Can't you play the new Cardio-Thoracic Superstar Surgeon on Grey's Anatomy?? You would be perfect on that show!
The sad thing is I can't figure out if her acting truly sucked, or if that's how the character was purposely written in which case she gave a nuanced, critically-acclaimed performance. Gah! Also, please get Alex Cabot back stat form 'Albany'...or is she still 'stuck in traffic'? What.The.Fuck.
My brain hurts...L&O SVU...I Fucking Quit You.
Dazz
Then came last season's finale and I vowed 'no more, no fucking more'. I was done. That episode was so badly written, so contrived, it seems as though the pot weasels and TPTB just threw their hands up and said 'We give up let's just throw as many cliches, twists, turns, kill off one of our most popular and hottest supporting characters, 'injure' one of our main characters and see if our stupid but loyal viewers will buy it!' and cobbled that epi together.
Okay, none of us liked that Forensic guy Stuckey from his first time on screen and we all knew that Stabler despised him and that he made no effort to hide his dislike from Stuckey, so we really weren't surprised when all the drama (I refuse to recap it, watching it once was enough for my brain) went down. The killing off of one of the hottest recurring characters Forensics Lab guy Ryan O'Halloran? WTF ? Shame on you! The fact that the writers wanted us to believe that Liv couldn't take out this stupid kid in 2.3 seconds but had to go through the whole 'I hate my partner, but let me tongue you' ploy to disarm him??? Foul! Although her slapping the shit out of El had some soft-core BDSM overtones and me likey. Killing off Emily Fucking Gilmore?? You Swine! The episode ended and we just sat and looked at each other...shellshocked...what a complete and utter clusterfuck! So that night, all 12 of us at the viewing party in Chelsea decided en masse that we were over SVU and we would not be coming back for season 11.
Fate, however, had different plans for us. Since none of us had deprogrammed SVU, our DVRs and TiVos recorded the season premier. Which we all watched grudgingly three days later. There was no mention of O'Halloran's murder, Stuckey's psychotic break and attempted murder of Elliott 'I Need To Be Shirtless More Often' Stabler. It's like it didn't happen. Is this like that whole season of Dallas that didn't happen because Pam was dreaming everything? I personally was waiting for a shot of Forensics guy O'Halloran soaping up in the shower at Olivia's apartment. WTF??
So then we see the introduction of this new EADA, who from the minute we saw her, we said 'What the Fuck has Christine Lahti been doing to her face??? Step away from the botox lady!' and then OT said, 'she's gonna be a ball-busting bitch who's gonna alienate the squad and it ain't gonna end well for her'. So the pool began as to how she would be phased out when the pot weasels and TPTB realized that immediate feedback from the fans (that shitstorm on Twitter) would be that we HATED HER a la Kim Graylik her predecessor. I had $100 for Episode 8 where she would be strangled to death by a perp who didn't like her 'tude as Liv and El sat back and let her do their job because she said that they were incompetent and she could do it better.
Never in a million years could any of us have predicted the fuckery that was last week's episode...her own incompetence and weakness is what did her in! She tries to hit on El, she tries to hit on Liv. She tells Cap'n Cragen that acoholism is not a disease and then BOOYAH!! Epic meltdown and reputation lost.Christine, did you need the money that badly??? Can't you play the new Cardio-Thoracic Superstar Surgeon on Grey's Anatomy?? You would be perfect on that show!
The sad thing is I can't figure out if her acting truly sucked, or if that's how the character was purposely written in which case she gave a nuanced, critically-acclaimed performance. Gah! Also, please get Alex Cabot back stat form 'Albany'...or is she still 'stuck in traffic'? What.The.Fuck.
My brain hurts...L&O SVU...I Fucking Quit You.
Dazz
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Fringe - I'm Under Its Control and I am So Fucking Addicted!!!
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Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Chris O'Donnell You Are Officially Forgiven
I don't know about you, but I tend to hold grudges for a really long time. That redhead that cut in front of me in the milk line back in Pre-K? Yep, still hate her because of it. The cashier at the grocery store who refused to use the store card that they all keep at the register when I forgot mine? Yeah, fuck her, I still won't go to her even if she has the shortest line and it's been 4 years people!
I even hold grudges against celebrities for the perceived wrongs they have wrought against me. See below examples:
Prince - changing your name to that fucking symbol and then getting mad when we blessed you with the moniker TAFKAP (The Artist Formerly Known As Prince). You were forgiven when you reinvented yourself, regained your name and busted out the assless, lace-embellished yellow pantsuit.
Milli Vanilli - grudge still in effect. You frauds, I will never forgive you. I felt bad when Rob died, but I can never forget the fact that you made me love 'Girl You Know It's True' and then ripped my heart in two when it was revealed that that musical genius was not you.
Enrique Iglesias - The Removal Of The Mole. Nuff said.
James Patterson - For allowing the casting of Morgan Freeman as Alex Cross. Fuckery! My sister and I had been reading those Alex Cross novels and salivating over the sexy that was described and then when we heard that they had cast Morgan Fucking Freeman...fuck we didn't eat or sleep for days amid the wailing and the gnashing of teeth. Now I know a lot of you reading this are probably like Morgan Freeman is an excellent actor and he brought a lot to the role and besides James Patterson probably didn't have any say over the casting. Yeah yeah yeah Morgan Freeman is a phenomenal actor; I don't dispute that. What I have a problem with is that when you read the book and a character is described a certain way, that's how you see them in your head as you read , when you get inside the character. I'm picturing a tall beautiful brother, a sexy, suave, sensuous intellectual and you give me Morgan Fucking Freeman??? Uh, does not compute. Also, as the owner of the Alex Cross novels you bet your ass James Patterson had a say in the casting; what the fuck was he thinking giving a thumbs up to Freeman??? It's akin to casting Shia LaBeouf as Edward Cullen! See, I saw you all throw up in your mouths at that. It just does not compute!
Tom Clancy- For allowing the casting of Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan in the Sum Of All Fears. What.The.Fuck???!!! Alec Baldwin as Jack Ryan? Fuck Yes; the Hunt For Red October is the best of the Jack Ryan films and easily one of my favorite movies. Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan? Hells Yeah, he kicked ass in Patriot Games against Sean Bean (one of the most under-rated actors ever, IMO). I don't think that we would ever have seen the Jason Bourne novels on screen if not for the Jack Ryan movies. But Ben Fucking Affleck as Jack Ryan?? What bet did somebody lose that this fuckery was allowed? See above point on James Patterson/Alex Cross.
But perhaps the biggest most extreme grudge that I have been holding for the past...wait for it...TWELVE YEARS is against Chris O'Donnell for his part in the FUCKERY that was Batman&Robin. As a fan of Batman from back in the day watching the Adam West Burt Ward TV Series and collecting the comics, watching the characters brought to life on the big screen was nerve wracking, I mean, the actors playing Batman ran the gamut, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Cloon...I can't even finish typing that it gives me hives just thinking about him in that role. The movie was awful, the plot rubbish, the acting horrendous, the costumes ridiculously anatomically improbable and Chris looked embarrassed at his own behavior. Have you ever been to a movie when you cringed and felt bad for every actor as they played their roles? That's how I felt; Arnold Schwarzenegger, George You Know Who, Chris, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, I cringed as each of them delivered some of the cheesiest, tritest drivel ever uttered. Not even Jim Carrey's Riddler could have saved this movie. This movie was so bad that it took them EIGHT FUCKING YEARS to bring the franchise back to its former glory with Batman Begins.
So, I held that grudge against Chris all these years. He started redeeming himself when he played 'McVet' on S2 and S3 of Grey's Anatomy and delivered one of the most dramatic romantic lines of all time to Mer about Der; "He'll break your heart again, and when he does, I won't be here". How's that for a character's exit line?? Bravo.
It wasn't until last night's episode of NCIS:Los Angeles that I completely absolved him of all things B&R related. This character that he plays G. Callen is one of the most subtly nuanced characters I have seen on Network TV in a long time. There is so much roiling around under his surface and I wait with bated breath each week to learn everything there is to know. First off, he's an orphan. He has no official first name; it's just a letter 'G'. Are you with me so far? He may have gotten involved with gangs in his youth before going into the service. He is a lone wolf, highly independent and a chameleon. What is endearing is that every week we get another snippet into his psyche, we see a little bit of who makes up Callen. Last week's epi where he told Heddy that he doesn't know what the G stands for that it was just G, was so poignant and sad; even Heddy felt it. She keeps dropping gems to him to make him see his 'situation' as a positive and not negative. We never pity him, we empathize with him. We see his close friendship with Sam as the older brother/best friend who he knows will ALWAYS have his back.
This week Nate the Psychologist (The Weakest Link on this show, can we Auf him NOW, please?) kept going on and on with his wannabe profile of their target and all of the negatives he was mentioning for the target were things that G had experienced and he kept throwing Callen the side-eye as he was talking like he was saying 'yeah, I'm talking about you Callen'. Yeah, Nate, as Callen and Sam summarized, ya got 'diddly squat'.
So, Chris because of this subtle, redeeming character of G. Callen, you are officially forgiven and we shall never again speak of your outlandishly laughable, anatomically ridiculous codpiece in that godawful dreck known as Batman&Robin.
Dazz
I even hold grudges against celebrities for the perceived wrongs they have wrought against me. See below examples:
Prince - changing your name to that fucking symbol and then getting mad when we blessed you with the moniker TAFKAP (The Artist Formerly Known As Prince). You were forgiven when you reinvented yourself, regained your name and busted out the assless, lace-embellished yellow pantsuit.
Milli Vanilli - grudge still in effect. You frauds, I will never forgive you. I felt bad when Rob died, but I can never forget the fact that you made me love 'Girl You Know It's True' and then ripped my heart in two when it was revealed that that musical genius was not you.
Enrique Iglesias - The Removal Of The Mole. Nuff said.
James Patterson - For allowing the casting of Morgan Freeman as Alex Cross. Fuckery! My sister and I had been reading those Alex Cross novels and salivating over the sexy that was described and then when we heard that they had cast Morgan Fucking Freeman...fuck we didn't eat or sleep for days amid the wailing and the gnashing of teeth. Now I know a lot of you reading this are probably like Morgan Freeman is an excellent actor and he brought a lot to the role and besides James Patterson probably didn't have any say over the casting. Yeah yeah yeah Morgan Freeman is a phenomenal actor; I don't dispute that. What I have a problem with is that when you read the book and a character is described a certain way, that's how you see them in your head as you read , when you get inside the character. I'm picturing a tall beautiful brother, a sexy, suave, sensuous intellectual and you give me Morgan Fucking Freeman??? Uh, does not compute. Also, as the owner of the Alex Cross novels you bet your ass James Patterson had a say in the casting; what the fuck was he thinking giving a thumbs up to Freeman??? It's akin to casting Shia LaBeouf as Edward Cullen! See, I saw you all throw up in your mouths at that. It just does not compute!
Tom Clancy- For allowing the casting of Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan in the Sum Of All Fears. What.The.Fuck???!!! Alec Baldwin as Jack Ryan? Fuck Yes; the Hunt For Red October is the best of the Jack Ryan films and easily one of my favorite movies. Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan? Hells Yeah, he kicked ass in Patriot Games against Sean Bean (one of the most under-rated actors ever, IMO). I don't think that we would ever have seen the Jason Bourne novels on screen if not for the Jack Ryan movies. But Ben Fucking Affleck as Jack Ryan?? What bet did somebody lose that this fuckery was allowed? See above point on James Patterson/Alex Cross.
But perhaps the biggest most extreme grudge that I have been holding for the past...wait for it...TWELVE YEARS is against Chris O'Donnell for his part in the FUCKERY that was Batman&Robin. As a fan of Batman from back in the day watching the Adam West Burt Ward TV Series and collecting the comics, watching the characters brought to life on the big screen was nerve wracking, I mean, the actors playing Batman ran the gamut, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Cloon...I can't even finish typing that it gives me hives just thinking about him in that role. The movie was awful, the plot rubbish, the acting horrendous, the costumes ridiculously anatomically improbable and Chris looked embarrassed at his own behavior. Have you ever been to a movie when you cringed and felt bad for every actor as they played their roles? That's how I felt; Arnold Schwarzenegger, George You Know Who, Chris, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, I cringed as each of them delivered some of the cheesiest, tritest drivel ever uttered. Not even Jim Carrey's Riddler could have saved this movie. This movie was so bad that it took them EIGHT FUCKING YEARS to bring the franchise back to its former glory with Batman Begins.
So, I held that grudge against Chris all these years. He started redeeming himself when he played 'McVet' on S2 and S3 of Grey's Anatomy and delivered one of the most dramatic romantic lines of all time to Mer about Der; "He'll break your heart again, and when he does, I won't be here". How's that for a character's exit line?? Bravo.
It wasn't until last night's episode of NCIS:Los Angeles that I completely absolved him of all things B&R related. This character that he plays G. Callen is one of the most subtly nuanced characters I have seen on Network TV in a long time. There is so much roiling around under his surface and I wait with bated breath each week to learn everything there is to know. First off, he's an orphan. He has no official first name; it's just a letter 'G'. Are you with me so far? He may have gotten involved with gangs in his youth before going into the service. He is a lone wolf, highly independent and a chameleon. What is endearing is that every week we get another snippet into his psyche, we see a little bit of who makes up Callen. Last week's epi where he told Heddy that he doesn't know what the G stands for that it was just G, was so poignant and sad; even Heddy felt it. She keeps dropping gems to him to make him see his 'situation' as a positive and not negative. We never pity him, we empathize with him. We see his close friendship with Sam as the older brother/best friend who he knows will ALWAYS have his back.
This week Nate the Psychologist (The Weakest Link on this show, can we Auf him NOW, please?) kept going on and on with his wannabe profile of their target and all of the negatives he was mentioning for the target were things that G had experienced and he kept throwing Callen the side-eye as he was talking like he was saying 'yeah, I'm talking about you Callen'. Yeah, Nate, as Callen and Sam summarized, ya got 'diddly squat'.
So, Chris because of this subtle, redeeming character of G. Callen, you are officially forgiven and we shall never again speak of your outlandishly laughable, anatomically ridiculous codpiece in that godawful dreck known as Batman&Robin.
Dazz
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Grey's Anatomy Is On Life Support
As much as I used to love this show, even I have to admit that it is going downhill, FAST.
Things I liked:
I actually have to think hard about this as nothing immediately jumped out at me.
George O'Malley is dead. Yeah, I said it and you know I'm right.
Izzie losing the wig. It was stupid and looked like shit and was fooling no-one.
Cristina and Owen making progress in therapy and their relationship; they both deserve some happiness.
Things I loathed:
The Seattle Grace/Mercy West Hospital Merger. I guess Shonda realized that she had painted herself into a corner and just decided to bring the drama with a whole new major story-line that would be 'ripped from the headlines'; layoffs, economic crisis, yadda yadda yadda. Is it bad that I really don't care? Except for the fact that we lost some good people (the interns and that one nurse who slept with Alex back in the day) I could give a shit about this story arc. Michael K. was right, you know IN THIS ECONOMY...All we need now is a rich, charismatic Jewish Financier to embezzle all of the Doctors' money and their 401Ks. Shonda, stick to writing for your medical show and let the L&O writers continue to write their 'ripped from the headlines' fare; it works for them. For you not so much. Contrived, much?
Derek Shepherd/Richard Webber potential coup story-line. FAIL; neither of them is very good at the office politics. The one good thing about this whole story was seeing Mitch Pilleggi (Agent Skinner from the X-Files), good to see him doing actual work instead of doing cheesy ass voice-overs for a show where the masked magician outs his own tricks and then himself.
Miranda Bailey in Peeds...does not compute; bring back the Nazi.
Arizona. Please get rid of this 'diarrhea of the mouth, is my girlfriend a lesbian, is my girlfriend my girlfriend' horribly acted character.
Callie's whole story arc. She as a whiny, indecisive, insecure lesbian is so embarrassingly cliche and cringe-worthy. Where is the strong woman of the past? Her character has been the most poorly written one for a few seasons now.
Mer/Der 'post-it wedding, we are fucking like newlyweds' storyline. It sucked, still sucks and will continue to suck.
Lexipedia. Mark Sloane can do better; he deserves better. Callie is bi-sexual; let's get her back with Mark, STAT!
The Thatcher/liver transplant storyline; don't care about him but way to 'open the door' to a forced relationship between Mer and her father. *Eye-roll*
The cut interns...which one was Megan, the rotund Hispanic one? Who the hell knew that she was married to the 'constantly-startled' intern and that they are about to have a kid? Sucks for them.
Callie's tantrum and defection to Mercy West which has now been merged with Seattle Grace and now the Chief gave her her old job back story arc...totally PATHETIC and uh POINTLESS!
Owen letting himself be drawn in by Izzie's 'everybody is a potential cancer miracle like me' unrealistic, decision not based in medicine, enthusiasm shtick. Cringe-worthy...and after the patient dies (depriving him and his fiancee and family months of togetherness) she tells the fiancee to check the mouth-guard container where she will find the ring that he was about to propose to her with which will undoubtedly make her even more mournful and depressed and more prone to committing suicide to be with her love. Yeah, so thanks for that Iz and shame on you Owen for agreeing to do the surgery against your better judgment just because you pity Izzie.
Cristina and the Peeds rotation. FAIL. Embarrassing. At this point I want the entire Peeds rotation off the fucking show; get rid of Arizona. I am willing to invoke the SoDC; there are no sick kids, so a Peeds unit is therefore not needed. Problem Fucking solved!
The hysterical laughing at George's funeral. So after the 'confirmation by freckle-analysis' that Lexie is an idiot and John Doe was definitely O'Malley, they have George's funeral where the Final Four cackle like hyenas at his death, mode of death etc. I understand that grief brings out weird behavior, but even I am not a heartless bitch and could totally see that this was a not so subtle swipe at Totally Retarded Knight by Shonda. Methinks that TRK will be the one laughing after Grey's gets the axe.
Alex/Izzie...it was sweet when she was at death's door but it is irritating now. The bear thing was funny though. I was rooting for the bear.
The Mark/Callie 'hallway of inappropriateness'. I love this close relationship that the ex-fuck buddies have and if it annoys Lexipedia, then I am all for it. Carry On.
The approaching Battle Royale between the residents and attendings of Seattle Grace and Mercy West. Somehow I know they're going to drag that shit out for most of the season. Maybe Arizona will lose out to the far more superior, less talkative bizarro Mercy West version? One can only hope.
Wait A Minute..hold the fucking phone. How the fuck did the Chief get an okay from the Board for the merger between Seattle Grace and Mercy West when the same Board was preparing to oust him in a coup for Der to take over?? Invoke the SoDC. Nuff said.
Is KH fucking Shonda?? This is the only explanation as to why the most obnoxious actress on that show continues to get the choiciest, meatiest, most though-provoking, empathetic, tear-inducing story-arcs!! As much as I dislike KH as the person she comes across as being in the media (ungrateful, entitled, bitchy, selfish, whiny and deluded) she acts the hell out of the material she's given even when it's shittily written. Was she right when she said that she was given shit material to act with in the past? YES! I mean for Christ's sake they had her perform mouth to mouth on a fucking deer and loudly and quite enthusiastically fuck her dead ex-fiance!! She had to have fallen out of favor hard with Shonda to have that storyline foisted upon her. Was she right for airing her feelings in public, criticizing the writers and removing her name for Emmy consideration? NO! Those moves will come back to bite you in the ass Katie. Remember you still hold the record of having the lowest grossing movie IN HISTORY! Despite all of the controversies, though, she is still one of the better actresses on the show (Bailey and Cristina are the best by far) and watching her every week, you cannot help but be invested in Izzie's storylines even if I DID want the bear to eat her.
BTW, Alex is the Weakest Link (That show was the birthplace of snark, Anne Robinson, I bow to Thee) of The Final Four. His acting is horrible and he is no longer hawt.
I miss Dr. Preston Burke. Yes, I fucking said it. I can't help but think that if he were still around that this show would be more classy, less contrived (post-it wedding...SERIOUSLY??!) and less meh.
This show is no longer 'Must-See TV' for me; it has been relegated to 'record to DVR to watch at a later date when I'm bored' status. Oh how the mighty have fallen. This show is definitely on life support and I see the next season being its last before ABC cancels it.
Dazz
Things I liked:
I actually have to think hard about this as nothing immediately jumped out at me.
George O'Malley is dead. Yeah, I said it and you know I'm right.
Izzie losing the wig. It was stupid and looked like shit and was fooling no-one.
Cristina and Owen making progress in therapy and their relationship; they both deserve some happiness.
Things I loathed:
The Seattle Grace/Mercy West Hospital Merger. I guess Shonda realized that she had painted herself into a corner and just decided to bring the drama with a whole new major story-line that would be 'ripped from the headlines'; layoffs, economic crisis, yadda yadda yadda. Is it bad that I really don't care? Except for the fact that we lost some good people (the interns and that one nurse who slept with Alex back in the day) I could give a shit about this story arc. Michael K. was right, you know IN THIS ECONOMY...All we need now is a rich, charismatic Jewish Financier to embezzle all of the Doctors' money and their 401Ks. Shonda, stick to writing for your medical show and let the L&O writers continue to write their 'ripped from the headlines' fare; it works for them. For you not so much. Contrived, much?
Derek Shepherd/Richard Webber potential coup story-line. FAIL; neither of them is very good at the office politics. The one good thing about this whole story was seeing Mitch Pilleggi (Agent Skinner from the X-Files), good to see him doing actual work instead of doing cheesy ass voice-overs for a show where the masked magician outs his own tricks and then himself.
Miranda Bailey in Peeds...does not compute; bring back the Nazi.
Arizona. Please get rid of this 'diarrhea of the mouth, is my girlfriend a lesbian, is my girlfriend my girlfriend' horribly acted character.
Callie's whole story arc. She as a whiny, indecisive, insecure lesbian is so embarrassingly cliche and cringe-worthy. Where is the strong woman of the past? Her character has been the most poorly written one for a few seasons now.
Mer/Der 'post-it wedding, we are fucking like newlyweds' storyline. It sucked, still sucks and will continue to suck.
Lexipedia. Mark Sloane can do better; he deserves better. Callie is bi-sexual; let's get her back with Mark, STAT!
The Thatcher/liver transplant storyline; don't care about him but way to 'open the door' to a forced relationship between Mer and her father. *Eye-roll*
The cut interns...which one was Megan, the rotund Hispanic one? Who the hell knew that she was married to the 'constantly-startled' intern and that they are about to have a kid? Sucks for them.
Callie's tantrum and defection to Mercy West which has now been merged with Seattle Grace and now the Chief gave her her old job back story arc...totally PATHETIC and uh POINTLESS!
Owen letting himself be drawn in by Izzie's 'everybody is a potential cancer miracle like me' unrealistic, decision not based in medicine, enthusiasm shtick. Cringe-worthy...and after the patient dies (depriving him and his fiancee and family months of togetherness) she tells the fiancee to check the mouth-guard container where she will find the ring that he was about to propose to her with which will undoubtedly make her even more mournful and depressed and more prone to committing suicide to be with her love. Yeah, so thanks for that Iz and shame on you Owen for agreeing to do the surgery against your better judgment just because you pity Izzie.
Cristina and the Peeds rotation. FAIL. Embarrassing. At this point I want the entire Peeds rotation off the fucking show; get rid of Arizona. I am willing to invoke the SoDC; there are no sick kids, so a Peeds unit is therefore not needed. Problem Fucking solved!
The hysterical laughing at George's funeral. So after the 'confirmation by freckle-analysis' that Lexie is an idiot and John Doe was definitely O'Malley, they have George's funeral where the Final Four cackle like hyenas at his death, mode of death etc. I understand that grief brings out weird behavior, but even I am not a heartless bitch and could totally see that this was a not so subtle swipe at Totally Retarded Knight by Shonda. Methinks that TRK will be the one laughing after Grey's gets the axe.
Alex/Izzie...it was sweet when she was at death's door but it is irritating now. The bear thing was funny though. I was rooting for the bear.
The Mark/Callie 'hallway of inappropriateness'. I love this close relationship that the ex-fuck buddies have and if it annoys Lexipedia, then I am all for it. Carry On.
The approaching Battle Royale between the residents and attendings of Seattle Grace and Mercy West. Somehow I know they're going to drag that shit out for most of the season. Maybe Arizona will lose out to the far more superior, less talkative bizarro Mercy West version? One can only hope.
Wait A Minute..hold the fucking phone. How the fuck did the Chief get an okay from the Board for the merger between Seattle Grace and Mercy West when the same Board was preparing to oust him in a coup for Der to take over?? Invoke the SoDC. Nuff said.
Is KH fucking Shonda?? This is the only explanation as to why the most obnoxious actress on that show continues to get the choiciest, meatiest, most though-provoking, empathetic, tear-inducing story-arcs!! As much as I dislike KH as the person she comes across as being in the media (ungrateful, entitled, bitchy, selfish, whiny and deluded) she acts the hell out of the material she's given even when it's shittily written. Was she right when she said that she was given shit material to act with in the past? YES! I mean for Christ's sake they had her perform mouth to mouth on a fucking deer and loudly and quite enthusiastically fuck her dead ex-fiance!! She had to have fallen out of favor hard with Shonda to have that storyline foisted upon her. Was she right for airing her feelings in public, criticizing the writers and removing her name for Emmy consideration? NO! Those moves will come back to bite you in the ass Katie. Remember you still hold the record of having the lowest grossing movie IN HISTORY! Despite all of the controversies, though, she is still one of the better actresses on the show (Bailey and Cristina are the best by far) and watching her every week, you cannot help but be invested in Izzie's storylines even if I DID want the bear to eat her.
BTW, Alex is the Weakest Link (That show was the birthplace of snark, Anne Robinson, I bow to Thee) of The Final Four. His acting is horrible and he is no longer hawt.
I miss Dr. Preston Burke. Yes, I fucking said it. I can't help but think that if he were still around that this show would be more classy, less contrived (post-it wedding...SERIOUSLY??!) and less meh.
This show is no longer 'Must-See TV' for me; it has been relegated to 'record to DVR to watch at a later date when I'm bored' status. Oh how the mighty have fallen. This show is definitely on life support and I see the next season being its last before ABC cancels it.
Dazz
Happy National Coming Out Day!
Celebrate this day with Pride, Acceptance, Tolerance and LOVE!
Be the support for your friend, relative or loved one as they take a huge step today and make the decision to own and live their truth.
Love,
Dazz
Be the support for your friend, relative or loved one as they take a huge step today and make the decision to own and live their truth.
Love,
Dazz
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Rule 34
One complaint that I have heard numerously recently is that everything seems to have some sort of sexual connotation. Case in point, this particular question: 'Why does there have to be het/slash 'porn' fanfic/artwork for say Twilight?? (Yah the Twi-Hard Moms are all up in arms about all of the Jasper/Edward slash fanfic that's out there. I can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth from here *snicker*). My explanation to them is this:
Rule 34: If it exists, there is porn(see also smut) of it. No exceptions.
If you don't believe me, check out my own stories and some that I have favorited on my FF.net account. I have written CSI:NY het smut; yes it's based on characters from a fucking TV show! I have written Harry Potter het smut with Severus and Hermione *gasp* Yes, it's based on characters from a beloved Book Series, and am currently working on a Criminal Minds het story as well as a Twilight/CSI:NY Crossover slash. (What can I say, I have a fertile fucking imagination!)
I don't see it as porn so much as adult fanfiction/fantasy smut. I mean when I'm reading Twilight, I can't help but let my mind wander thinking 'hmmm I wonder just how close Carlisle and Edward were when he stole him from the hospital and changed him and teaching him to control his thirst'? Next thing you know, it's 3a.m. and I'm writing some totally hot man on man loving with an overabundance of the words 'cock', 'thrust', 'languid' and 'stroke. Then my buddy Yoji reads it and offers to create a quick manga for me and boom; instant internet sensation. Plus you can't tell me that Edward and the rest of the Vampires sparkle in the fucking sunlight and NOT expect there to be a plethora of stories about him shagging somebody in that fucking meadow with his sparkly erect peen plowing...see this shit practically writes itself while begging for accompanying visual illustrations!
My FanFic BFF recently introduced me to the world of 'Collie' - to those of you NOT in the know that's Clark Kent (Superman) and Oliver Queen (Green Arrow). Let me tell you their slash ain't no joke...after all Superman is the Man Of Steel, so ideally should he top or should he bottom??? I mean if he tops, he'll likely kill the person on the bottom right? But if he bottoms then will the experience be fulfilling for him? Plus, he could totally kill the person he was giving head to, right?
What I'm trying to say is that there is porn/smut for EVERYTHING. Nothing is sacred; I mean a couple of years ago I was traveling in Europe and happened across some Mikey Mouse cartoon porn. I needed brain bleach to get rid of the image of Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse going at it. My head was exploding at what was before me on the pages: gay, anatomically correct, inter-specied, beloved cartoon characters having hawt, dirty, smutty sex and speaking in French. Do you blame me for giggling the entire visit to Disneyland Paris and being unable to take pics with Mickey or Donald???
That was then; now when I see that shit I think...meh. Oh Rule 34 what have you done to me?
Oh and if you love Hentai like I do, then you are totally proving Rule 34!!
BTW, have you ever seen that show on Comedy Central called 'Drawn Together'? That show is Rule 34 personified in all its subtle glory on basic cable, people. Face it, whether the prudes among us want to admit it or not, we all like to fantasize about sex and when it involves our favorite fictional characters bring it on. I mean my Viking Vampire Eric Northman stars in my nightly fantasies, is that so wrong?? The smut is here to stay people, so writing it, drawing it, illustrating it will always be a big part of what we do and ENJOY; at least for me.
TTYL,
Dazz
Rule 34: If it exists, there is porn(see also smut) of it. No exceptions.
If you don't believe me, check out my own stories and some that I have favorited on my FF.net account. I have written CSI:NY het smut; yes it's based on characters from a fucking TV show! I have written Harry Potter het smut with Severus and Hermione *gasp* Yes, it's based on characters from a beloved Book Series, and am currently working on a Criminal Minds het story as well as a Twilight/CSI:NY Crossover slash. (What can I say, I have a fertile fucking imagination!)
I don't see it as porn so much as adult fanfiction/fantasy smut. I mean when I'm reading Twilight, I can't help but let my mind wander thinking 'hmmm I wonder just how close Carlisle and Edward were when he stole him from the hospital and changed him and teaching him to control his thirst'? Next thing you know, it's 3a.m. and I'm writing some totally hot man on man loving with an overabundance of the words 'cock', 'thrust', 'languid' and 'stroke. Then my buddy Yoji reads it and offers to create a quick manga for me and boom; instant internet sensation. Plus you can't tell me that Edward and the rest of the Vampires sparkle in the fucking sunlight and NOT expect there to be a plethora of stories about him shagging somebody in that fucking meadow with his sparkly erect peen plowing...see this shit practically writes itself while begging for accompanying visual illustrations!
My FanFic BFF recently introduced me to the world of 'Collie' - to those of you NOT in the know that's Clark Kent (Superman) and Oliver Queen (Green Arrow). Let me tell you their slash ain't no joke...after all Superman is the Man Of Steel, so ideally should he top or should he bottom??? I mean if he tops, he'll likely kill the person on the bottom right? But if he bottoms then will the experience be fulfilling for him? Plus, he could totally kill the person he was giving head to, right?
What I'm trying to say is that there is porn/smut for EVERYTHING. Nothing is sacred; I mean a couple of years ago I was traveling in Europe and happened across some Mikey Mouse cartoon porn. I needed brain bleach to get rid of the image of Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse going at it. My head was exploding at what was before me on the pages: gay, anatomically correct, inter-specied, beloved cartoon characters having hawt, dirty, smutty sex and speaking in French. Do you blame me for giggling the entire visit to Disneyland Paris and being unable to take pics with Mickey or Donald???
That was then; now when I see that shit I think...meh. Oh Rule 34 what have you done to me?
Oh and if you love Hentai like I do, then you are totally proving Rule 34!!
BTW, have you ever seen that show on Comedy Central called 'Drawn Together'? That show is Rule 34 personified in all its subtle glory on basic cable, people. Face it, whether the prudes among us want to admit it or not, we all like to fantasize about sex and when it involves our favorite fictional characters bring it on. I mean my Viking Vampire Eric Northman stars in my nightly fantasies, is that so wrong?? The smut is here to stay people, so writing it, drawing it, illustrating it will always be a big part of what we do and ENJOY; at least for me.
TTYL,
Dazz
Pacey Is 'One Of Them'!?
So...Fringe...Hands down one of the best shows on TV.
Let me just start by saying that for me this show absolutely fills the void left by the end of the X-Files and The Outer Limits! It is smart, witty, self-deprecating and entertaining as all hell.
I like the Mercury-infused Shapeshifters. Very Terminator-y. But look, a shot to the head will totally kill the host body! So can't Walter create a Mercury detector to aid the Team in weeding out these Metal spies? I mean since Mercury is a diamagnetic (it will be repulsed) can't they just create a discreet mercury-detector-meter?
Parallel Universe Charlie is dead. That brings The Sads. I liked the Charlie character; good or evil. Bye bye Kirk Acevedo. Is it horrible that I was feeling sorry for him as he scarfed down his mercury and glass combo in the car?
Walter and his damn (unethical but well meaning) experiments! Giving subjects massive amounts of hallucinogens so that they can 'see' people from another dimension after they trip the hell out? Check! Giving a subject pureed flatworms (wait for the strawberries next time Olivia)to stimulate and recall their memories? Check!
Ok, let's talk about those worms - the concept of the original experiment was that the worms that ingested the pureed worms recalled their (the pureed worms') memories. Therefore doesn't it stand to reason that Olivia would recall the pureed worms' memories NOT her own? Hmmm...ok invoking the 'Suspension Of Disbelief' clause.(hereafter referred to as the SoDC)
All epi I kept giggling and muttering 'Headhunter'. I mean seriously, they were breaking into Cryogenic labs looking for a specific head with the omega like symbol on the back of its head. That's the ultimate Headhunter*snicker*. Plus I was also thinking 'supposed one of those callously discarded frozen heads was Ted Williams? Do they have tracking devices to find the heads in case they were stolen like this?
So did anyone else get the whole mark of the beast symbolism? Yeah it wasn't that subtle. Also, I like that the symbol of the Leader of the First Wave is like an Omega - The Alpha (First) and the Omerga (Last?) PS Omega-guy is not cute... all potential beasts/anti-christs are supposed to be good-looking and charming; that's how they hook you. I guess it's okay though cause he totally looks like Voldemort. Evil but with a touch of 'doable' - cmon, you saw the shot of him on Platform 9 &3/4 in Armani, you would so fucking hit that.
Leonard Nimoy as William (or Willem) is fucking creepy...and Olivia (Livvy) is right not to completely trust him. There is so much more that he hasn't told her. I mean why not just email her and tell her all the shit that will go down if she totally fucks up her role as the Gatekeeper?
If we trust the woman who Walter hopped up on LSD, then she all but confirmed my theory of Peter being from the Parallel Universe when she saw him 'glow'. I prefer to think of it as an 'aura' cause you know Joshua is just heavenly and totally dreamy. Le Sigh...Dawson's Creek Flashback...please give me a moment...Okay, I'm back. So if Pacey, I mean Peter is really from the Parallel Universe, how is he being powered? Is he not a part of the First Wave? We haven't seen him ingesting mercury and christ we know he likes cheeseburgers! Plus he doesn't have a 'shifting device'. I'm so dying to find out Peter's back story. Also, this glow thing just made me wonder if one of the Fringe writers isn't a closeted Twi Hard; 'Squee I have an idea...let's make Peter sparkle in the sun!'. Stephenie Meyer is that you?!!
So, I want to trust Nina Sharp...but there's just something holding me back. Now that Charlie has been revealed as the shapeshifter, will Olivia truly trust Nina going forward?
Will Walter's LSD shapeshifter detector lady ever tell him about Peter's aura? Will she be part of the Team going forward. BTW, I don't trust her either. Looks like she can't wait for Walter to do her and methinks Walter is willing as long as it can be worked around his bus schedule.
What happened to the NY FBI Agent Jessup from the premiere?? I guess she was brought in to eventually take Charlie's place?
Colonel/Special Agent Philip Broyles is totally bringing the sexy every episode. I love how he remains stoic, unflappable and unphased while he says some of the cheesiest dialog every week. I present to you: "Why are shapeshifting soldiers from another universe stealing frozen heads?" Bravo Sir. Disbelief Suspended indeed. I still can't help but think of him and Nina Sharp and those awesome HJs she has to be giving him! *Snicker*
Astrid - 'Walter Bishop Deli'. Fucking. Hilarious. BTW, what kind of FBI agents are they that none of them could determine that the spinning rendered image on the Massive Dynamic FTP server was Charlie?
Until next epi...remember lovvies, Physics Is A Bitch! I am so getting that on a t-shirt!
Dazz
Let me just start by saying that for me this show absolutely fills the void left by the end of the X-Files and The Outer Limits! It is smart, witty, self-deprecating and entertaining as all hell.
I like the Mercury-infused Shapeshifters. Very Terminator-y. But look, a shot to the head will totally kill the host body! So can't Walter create a Mercury detector to aid the Team in weeding out these Metal spies? I mean since Mercury is a diamagnetic (it will be repulsed) can't they just create a discreet mercury-detector-meter?
Parallel Universe Charlie is dead. That brings The Sads. I liked the Charlie character; good or evil. Bye bye Kirk Acevedo. Is it horrible that I was feeling sorry for him as he scarfed down his mercury and glass combo in the car?
Walter and his damn (unethical but well meaning) experiments! Giving subjects massive amounts of hallucinogens so that they can 'see' people from another dimension after they trip the hell out? Check! Giving a subject pureed flatworms (wait for the strawberries next time Olivia)to stimulate and recall their memories? Check!
Ok, let's talk about those worms - the concept of the original experiment was that the worms that ingested the pureed worms recalled their (the pureed worms') memories. Therefore doesn't it stand to reason that Olivia would recall the pureed worms' memories NOT her own? Hmmm...ok invoking the 'Suspension Of Disbelief' clause.(hereafter referred to as the SoDC)
All epi I kept giggling and muttering 'Headhunter'. I mean seriously, they were breaking into Cryogenic labs looking for a specific head with the omega like symbol on the back of its head. That's the ultimate Headhunter*snicker*. Plus I was also thinking 'supposed one of those callously discarded frozen heads was Ted Williams? Do they have tracking devices to find the heads in case they were stolen like this?
So did anyone else get the whole mark of the beast symbolism? Yeah it wasn't that subtle. Also, I like that the symbol of the Leader of the First Wave is like an Omega - The Alpha (First) and the Omerga (Last?) PS Omega-guy is not cute... all potential beasts/anti-christs are supposed to be good-looking and charming; that's how they hook you. I guess it's okay though cause he totally looks like Voldemort. Evil but with a touch of 'doable' - cmon, you saw the shot of him on Platform 9 &3/4 in Armani, you would so fucking hit that.
Leonard Nimoy as William (or Willem) is fucking creepy...and Olivia (Livvy) is right not to completely trust him. There is so much more that he hasn't told her. I mean why not just email her and tell her all the shit that will go down if she totally fucks up her role as the Gatekeeper?
If we trust the woman who Walter hopped up on LSD, then she all but confirmed my theory of Peter being from the Parallel Universe when she saw him 'glow'. I prefer to think of it as an 'aura' cause you know Joshua is just heavenly and totally dreamy. Le Sigh...Dawson's Creek Flashback...please give me a moment...Okay, I'm back. So if Pacey, I mean Peter is really from the Parallel Universe, how is he being powered? Is he not a part of the First Wave? We haven't seen him ingesting mercury and christ we know he likes cheeseburgers! Plus he doesn't have a 'shifting device'. I'm so dying to find out Peter's back story. Also, this glow thing just made me wonder if one of the Fringe writers isn't a closeted Twi Hard; 'Squee I have an idea...let's make Peter sparkle in the sun!'. Stephenie Meyer is that you?!!
So, I want to trust Nina Sharp...but there's just something holding me back. Now that Charlie has been revealed as the shapeshifter, will Olivia truly trust Nina going forward?
Will Walter's LSD shapeshifter detector lady ever tell him about Peter's aura? Will she be part of the Team going forward. BTW, I don't trust her either. Looks like she can't wait for Walter to do her and methinks Walter is willing as long as it can be worked around his bus schedule.
What happened to the NY FBI Agent Jessup from the premiere?? I guess she was brought in to eventually take Charlie's place?
Colonel/Special Agent Philip Broyles is totally bringing the sexy every episode. I love how he remains stoic, unflappable and unphased while he says some of the cheesiest dialog every week. I present to you: "Why are shapeshifting soldiers from another universe stealing frozen heads?" Bravo Sir. Disbelief Suspended indeed. I still can't help but think of him and Nina Sharp and those awesome HJs she has to be giving him! *Snicker*
Astrid - 'Walter Bishop Deli'. Fucking. Hilarious. BTW, what kind of FBI agents are they that none of them could determine that the spinning rendered image on the Massive Dynamic FTP server was Charlie?
Until next epi...remember lovvies, Physics Is A Bitch! I am so getting that on a t-shirt!
Dazz
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