The first step is admitting you have a problem. Well, I don't think it's a problem per se, but I do admit that I like my Dirty Boys. But c'mon, what hot blooded woman doesn't??? Xander stated that he thought that I had a serious problem when 1. I started crushin' hard on Justin Bobby from MTV's The Hills and 2. When I started dating Gryffin - the jewelry-maker. Yep, melikey the Dirty Boys IRL (In Real Life) and IVL (In Virtual Life e.g. TV, Movies, Internet, Books, Manga, Porn, FanFic etc.)
So what's the deal with the Dirty Boys, Dazz? Well, I guess it's my version of liking the 'bad boy', I'm not attracted to the stereotypical bad boy, but his slightly more urbane cousin the Dirty Boy. My Dirty Boy has been influenced by the Seattle Grunge Movement, peppered with a bit o' Kings Of Leon with a hint of Lenny Kravitz and a smidge of George Michael in the 'Faith' video. There's a certain look, a uniform if you will, that I look for. Scuffed, worn leather boots. Slim fit (not skinny and def not baggy) distressed, faded, frayed at the hem, dark washed denim jeans. If the jeans are held up by a belt, there must be a big-assed distinctive belt buckle that draws the eye (a snake for the Slytherin lover in me is HOT!) Long or short sleeved cotton T. The ubiquitous black leather jacket; fitted, scuffed and well worn in. A slouchy beanie is a must. Leather cuff watch or a big stainless steel watch is a must. The hair has to be distinctive, a bit on the unkempt, longish, not-washed-daily variety and there has got to be some sort of facial scruff (no full beards or soul patches, TYVM!) There can be facial jewelry (vipers or brow piercings) but that's optional. Tongue piercing, sadly only optional. Tattoos, lots and lots of tatts all over the body but that can be covered by clothing. Penile piercings, welcome but optional. So yeah, from the above description, you have Justin Bobby. Best accessory is a Motorcycle. Yes, please!! Now ladies and some of you guys, you know someone exactly as I just described, I dare you to tell me they're not fucking hot! Yeah, I thought so. Makes me quiver.
My original Dirty Boy? Richard Greico from 21 Jumpstreet and Booker. Yeah, I'm dating myself here, but I urge you to YT him to see what I mean. Then you can get to Johnny Depp, Kiefer Sutherland in Lost Boys, Dylan McKay from BH 90210 and that brings us to these past few years - Lenny Kravitz, Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Brian Austin Green (Don't you fucking judge me!) Johnny Depp again, Sam Worthington...you get the picture.
I also like it when the Preppy Boys go Dirty. I just saw Sam Worthington in Terminator Salvation and damn that was one fucking hot Dirty Boy! Yum! There is a subtle difference between being a Dirty Boy and just being lazy about your style (Robert Pattinson, sadly I am talking to you. I mean how often are you gonna wear the same plaid shirt and white T???) Brad Pitt is the ultimate Pretty Boy who deep down is a Dirty Boy at heart and me likey. Love it when he's just tooling around on his bike, looking all grungy and sweaty and tasty and HAPPY!
David Beckham is the ultimate example of the Pretty Boy/Dirty Boy conundrum. When he travels without the wife and kids he's all uncoifed, au naturel and grungy as hell, showcasing the Dirty - Quiver Alert! Then boom, he's at some charity event and yowser out comes the Pretty in the D&G suit - GUH!!
Trust me, it must be dirty in looks only. The Boys must not actually be dirty or smelly, just look like they are. It's hard to explain, hence why the gays think I have a prob and that they needed to point this out to me.
So that's the Dirty Boy IVL.
Here's the Dirty Boy IRL.
It's like I sent Santa my specs and he and his little elves built me exactly what I asked for! Dazz has a Dirty Boy of her own - Gryffin. Everything I described above; my musts and my optionals? Yeah, Gryff has 'em all. Yay me! I'll respect his privacy and say that he's a successful jewelery maker who lives in one of the five boroughs and has a frenum ladder. That's not TMI at all, babe.
The thing is, Gryff and I have been together almost a year and he really doesn't get along with my gays. Except for the fact that they love his jewelry and they all love to cook together. In fact they thought that it was a phase I was going through and that it wouldn't get past the 'hook-up stage'. Plus, they think that I'm living out some sort of fantasy and need to be 'brought to my fucking senses'. What they don't understand is that Gryff is like my personal Dark Knight. It's the dual personas; when he needs to (for business meetings, parties, gallery openings, functions etc.) Gryff puts the Dirty Boy away and rocks the suit and he cleans up NICE. Think Gavin Rossdale or better yet, Matthew McConaughey in the D&G ad below. When he's on downtime, being creative or we're hanging out in the City, then the Dirty Boy comes out to play.
So, now let's talk about the Jaw Porn Addiction shall we? Yes, I love Jaw Porn and yes, I am addicted to it. Has it become a problem? Hell Yes! Case in point, I met with a new client last week and the jaw porn he was giving was so overwhelming that I was almost carried away by the quivers looking down the conference room table at his profile. Fuck Me, it was some of the best jaw porn ever! He's a beautiful Korean man who has the most captivating brown eyes and full sensuous lips and then whammo it just hits you...fuck awesome jaw porn!
Just in case you don't know what Jaw Porn is; it's all about the man with the strong sexy jaw profile! Guh! I've always liked a strong jaw and damn one of the best is Edward Cullen...err, I mean Robert Pattinson. Have you seen a profile shot of this guy?????? Quiver Alert!
Here is the ultimate example of jaw porn. I'm not going to type his name, because I mean no disrespect to his memory. You can see the JP even in the head on shot, can you imagine the profile??????
Matt McConaughey has great Jaw Porn head on and profile. Let me just list the best of the best now *Opens folder on desktop called Jaw Porn For Evah*:
Robert Pattinson
Matt McConaughey *
Brad Pitt *
Gale Harrold (Brian Fucking Kinney!)
Alexander Skarsgard
Aaron Eckhart (also has chin porn, but that's another post)
Shemar Moore
Johnny Depp *
Sam Worthington (newly discovered) *
Viggo (Long Live Aragorn)
Ed Harris
Boris Kodjoe
Rick Yune *
John Cho
Keanu Reeves *
Lance Reddick
Lorenzo Lamas *
Jason Lewis (Smith Jerrod) *
Taye Diggs
Sung Kang
Common *
Benjamin Bratt *
Daniel Dae Kim *
Christopher Meloni
Tony Leung Ka-Fai (Rent the 1992 movie The Lover)
Jeremy Irons
Adrian Pasdar
John Stamos
Joe Lawrence (You will always be Joey to me, Whoa!)
Robert Gant
Gregg Plitt
Sylvester Stallone (specifically in Judge Dredd also has lip porn) *
* Also qualifies as one of my IVL Dirty Boys
Okay, you get the idea. Google them and look at the pretty, sexy, dirty jaws. Quiver Alert.
The original Jaw Porn belongs to Richard Greico. Yeah, I know, it seems as though I have a Richard Greico addiction right?? Maybe I do, I just know that he was the first man that I was ever attracted to...so I guess you can say that I've modeled what I look for in a man after him. Take a look at the below, and you'll see that that ain't such a bad thing.
So, what was the outcome of the intervention? After I told them that they were all fucking CRAZY and that most of them shared my obsession and they should just fuck off, we then proceeded to imbibe some killer cocktails. Ironic, much? They kept harping on me for the next hour until Gryff came to pick me up dressed to the nines in his Armani suit with that beautiful emerald green Zegna tie I got him for his birthday which perfectly matched the emerald green cocktail dress I was wearing. Yeah, that shut my gays up with the quickness.
FYI, the gallery opening that we attended late last night was a beautiful, brilliant success.
Dazz
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